Saturday 17th May 2003

We had an early start at 10.15am as we were meeting a South African Colonel, at the Hilton, to take us on to our game at the naval base. We were all correctly dressed in our white shorts and maroon polo shirts. We looked the part, apart from a few green faces and now we just have to hope that we play the part.

The colonel arrived a little late in a scruffy old T Shirt and an old sharabang and we followed him to the venue.

The pitch had goals, but no lines. At least we were playing on grass. Now I've done my fair share of warm ups, but Ally's (the female physio) was the best I have done. We then had a chat from the manager (Shultzy), but were completely distracted by our opponents warm up. They were a team of zulu's and performed some kind of dance, but they were all in time and chanted in unison. We had no response to that.

I was named as a sub, which is no surprise, considering I'm a hanger on and shit. I didn't fancy turning out against a team of fit zulus in 27 degree heat anyway. We started quite well, but soon the exertions of the previous day (and night) and the heat began to take their toll. The zulu's chances got more and more regular as the half progressed. We were no match for their fitness, speed and short ball play. Bizarrely in one of our brief sojourns into their box we scored a scrappy goal.

I was brought on at half time which surprised me no end. Again in the first 20 minutes we did well and had chances to go 2 ahead which we failed to convert. Again as the half continued we faded badly and with the rolling subs in effect we conceded 2 late goals. It was almost worth it when you saw the reaction of the zulu's. It obviously meant so much to them.

In any game of football you always get some strange moments. The lines were marked by bricks. This probably caused the most controversial moment of the game when Rob was scythed down and the ref gave a free kick that would have been inside the box had we had one. There first goal was also clearly offside. The ref and 1 linesman did very well, but the other linesman was clearly 'on one'.

The worst quote of the day came from the manager when he said 'right Danny warm up.' Danny then came on for the last 10 minutes when we were leading 1-0. We all know what happened then.

We had a cold shower after the game (that was needed) and were invited back to the colonels barracks so that they could entertain us.

What followed was probably one of the best afternoons of my life. The crack and banter with the lads was superb and we were entertained royally. We in turn drunk the bar dry. The zulus sang songs for us in perfect harmony, all we could retort with was '10 green bottles'.

As we left everyone of the zulu's shook us by the hand and it was agreed that either they will come to us or we will return to them in a more official capacity.

We returned to the apartment at 8 and decided on a quick turnaround to get down to 'Tiger Tiger' again. This time there was 16 of us.

The clientelle was slighty older than the night before and again all white (apart from 3 in our party). The prices were the same as the night before.

I've no doubt that South Africa has changed a great deal over the last few years, but it is still a country that has 2 very different cultures that have not entirely mixed as yet. It is a place where there are very few middle class black families and even less lower class white families. I would say that most of the white locals are conceited and arrogant, but at least we had a few extra holiday makers to chat to. Having just had an afternoon with the zulus who had been absolutely delighted to chat with us and we with them, it was strange to experience this again. No doubt there are black clubs that no whites go to.

We left at 4am (it doesn't close until 5 am, why aren't English clubs like that?). We got a taxi back to Uhmlanga and had a chat with Edwin (our driver). It doesn't take long to realize in South Africa that all the Shop workers, taxi drivers, waiters, bottle collectors (not barmaids) are all black. Edwin has to work 6 days a week and 18 hour days. There are no white taxi drivers, but his boss is white. Integration will take time and Edwin assured us that it is far better for him now than it was in the days of apartheid. Edwin has 6 kids. His eldest boy is 27 and has a degree in Mechanical Engineering and can't find a job, it's the same for his 22 year old daughter with an IT qualification. We are hoping to get to meet Edwin again and he will take us to meet his family so we can see how he lives. We know we're not gonna change the world.