Wednesday 28th May 2003

Final day and we held a BBQ cum end of tour prize giving by the pool (where else) at 12.00. We spent the fines money on the BBQ. I had collected 3000 rand in fines. That must be some sort of fines record for a tour. You can imagine what was bought. We also had to buy a gift from someone else on the tour, drawn from a hat, that reflected their personality. I was bought a shirt by Kush (our Zulu tourer). It was a replica of the shirt worn by Nelson Mandela and it was a lovely present. It's best described as colourful and please don't take the piss out of me if you ever see me wearing it.


Well it must be a talking point if nothing else. Lovely gift though

We departed Jo'burg @ 20.45 with no drama's, but feeling a little sadness and promising to return to this wonderful country.

Tuesday 27th May

Another early morning pool session @ 8.30 then the afternoon off and finally the last game of the tour. We were supposedly playing a team of expats. We expected a team of old, fat Sunday league footballers. What we got was a team of semi professionals and a good 6-0 drubbing. We were again entertained after the game and experienced the best fines system ever. Basically the opponents captains decides who deserves a fine, whether it be for poor play, good play or any other reason they can think of. The fine recipient has to down an ice cold pint of lager in one. I can think of worse fines.

Final tour stats were played 4, lost 4, scored 2 and conceded 13. On the face of it that's not good, but I think every player has gained an awful lot from the tour and improved through it. In reality we had a makeshift team (I mean I was playing), the opposition got progressively better and we tired after playing 4 games in 11 days. I've played 7 games of football in the last 2 years and 4 of those are in the past fortnight.

Monday 26th May 2003

Woke to another beautiful day in the Drakensburg and managed to blag a game of golf at the Champagne Sports Resort. It was the 35th best course in South Africa and was absolute quality and only 300 rand including club hire. The fairways were lush the greens beautifully manicured. With the Drakensburg Mountains for a back drop the setting was idyllic, unfortunately our golf was not always up to the same standards.

I managed a couple of good shots and in the end won our skins game quite convincingly, which doesn't say much for my opponents.

We returned to Uhmlanga Rocks and handed back the hire car in which we had racked up 1700 km's in 5 days.

In the afternoon we went to the Gateway Shopping Centre which is a massive centre full of designer outlets. No cheaper than the UK though.

In the evening we went to Porkys for a meal. We then went to sample the delights of Uhmlanga by night. The cottonfields is an Irish pub but was full of old expat blokes so we went on to Coyotes which is a night club cum pool hall. Very bizarre and a bit of a dump, but the atmosphere and people were good. Met a few Americans as well who I know have as contacts for when I reach the States. Another 3am finish though.

Sunday 25th May 2003

Woke up to beautiful scenery over the Drakensburg. We lost another player today as Rob returned to Uhmlanga with concussion from yesterday's game.

Today we are off to the battlefields of Isandlwana and Rourkes Drift which is a 2 hour trek to Dundee first to pick up our guide and then a further 40 minutes from there. The countryside was again full of nothingness. Each town seems to be at least an hour apart and in between are lots and lots of fields and mountains. There are the occasional shanty towns of 20 to 50 houses each with a school in, but nothing much else. There are always people walking on the streets, but where to and where from is not immediately apparent.

The battle as Isandlwana was depicted in the film 'Zulu Dawn' and was the precursor to Rourke's Drift where Michael Caine performed his heroics in the film 'Zulu'. Islandlwana lasted just 55 minutes in which time the British camp of 1357 men was massacred. By being there and surveying the scene you get a real sense of the mistakes that were made and the thought of 20,000 zulus coming over the ridge in front must have been truly terrifying. The British bodies were butchered due to the zulu traditions of releasing the bodies spirits and some parts were taken as trophies. It was 4 months before the Brits could return to bury what was left of there dead. No Brits managed to escape after the first 5 minutes of the battle and the few who left went to Rourkes Drift to raise the alarm.


Islandlwana (Little Hand) The British camp was at the bottom. All the white cairns signify a pile of bones beneath them!

From being here you get the impression that Isandlwana was a more significant battle than Rourkes Drift, but was swept under the carpet due to inept tactics and a string of high level mistakes. There is no doubt it was a total disaster for the British.

As not all the Zulu's could get on the battlefield an unknown number (between 500 and 5000) made the 14km trek to Rourkes Drift. This was against the Zulu Kings orders as it was in Natal and not Zulu land. The first Zulu attack at Rourkes Drift came at 4 pm and what proceeded was a 12 hour defence in which only 17 British were killed, but most of the rest were injured. Rourkes Drift became the battle in which the most VC's were awarded. This is significant to our tour as Surgeon Major Reynolds of the RAMC was one of those to be decorated.

Rourkes Drift is a classic defensive position, but you have to question if it was the big battle that it was made out to be to the British public and as depicted in the film. There is no doubt that there were many great acts of bravery and it was a British victory, but we have to question why the Zulu's came into Natal to attack.


The Rebuilt building at Rourkes Drift!

In all it was a fascinating day in which I got a real sense of history. The guide was superb and it wouldn't have been the same without him. We again spent the night in Inkosana Lodge.

Saturday 24th May 2004

8 O'Clock start to meet the Colonel @ the Hilton. Eventually he turned up @ 9.15 so he must be on weekend African time. He was wearing a woolly hat and we are all in shorts and T Shirts. The weather is overcast, but still warm. Maybe he knows something we don't about where we are going.

The porters at the Hilton are getting really pissed off with us know. Everytime we turn up in our 2 buses like a well oiled machine they turn out with there luggage trollies etc. expecting that we are paying customers.

We made the 3 hour journey in country to Ladysmith to play a match. We weren't at the races in the first half and came in 4-1 down at half time. We competed slightly better second half and didn't concede or score. It again was very hard work in 27c temperatures against another Zulu Army side who again played some very nice football and had us chasing shadows for most of the game.

After the game we were again entertained to a BBQ, at which we distributed gifts (crayons, toothpaste, colouring books, socks etc.) to all the local kids.

The colonel made a speech as this was our final game against South Africa Army opposition. For me it has been a privilege and a tremendous experience to play in these conditions and against these opponents and I hope the rest of the lads feel the same.

We spent the night in a Backpackers hostel (Inkosana Lodge) in the Drakensburg mountain range. This is the sort of place I'll have to get used to on my travels. On first impressions I think I can manage that.

Friday 23rd May 2003

A few of the guys are still moaning about tiredness so it was decided to have a quick morning session in the pool @ 8.30 (Just what I needed). After the stretches we had a game of head tennis. In the game I managed to break Mitch's (our centre backs) nose. We are just trying to work out how much the fine will be and for who. We are now 3 players down.

The rest of the day was our own. Off to the mountains tomorrow for 3 days. Game and battlefield tours planned.

Thursday 22nd May 2003

Another early start @ 5.30 as we were due to go out into the reserve on a 3 hour bush hike. The scenery was amazing. All you could see in every direction was bush. Nothing to disturb it.

We had a quick Safety topic in which the ranger said 'Do not make any sudden movements when we are out there. Move very slowly until the predator makes it move towards us. Then you must climb a tree, Quickly!!!

Right well I'm happy with that. Phert!!!

On the hike we managed to see zebras, impala, kudu, warthogs, monkeys, buffalo's, wilderbeest, porcupines and giraffes. The highlight though was the White Rhino. We were probably with in about 30 feet of it. It was phenomenal to see such creatures in their natural environments. It was a little disappointing not to see an elephant or lion, but maybe that was for the best as my legs were a bit stiff from yesterday's game. I think it was probably the cooking from the previous night that put them off.


"Um, Where are the bars" The White Rhino seemed a little close to me


I thought Jeff's wife couldn't get a flight. (He didn't appreciate that comment)

If you want to guarantee seeing an elephant or lion then go to Marwell. I can assure you that it isn't the same as seeing them without bars.

To end the day after a 4 hour drive back we went to the England v South Africa football match. Talk about atmosphere. Unbelievable!!! The South African seem to love England as much as their own team. I know they love David Beckham but just didn't comprehend how much. They also love a trick and at one time were taking the piss out of us. The noise when they scored was like nothing I've ever heard. All in all I thought it was a competitive game and you always have to be on your mettle when you play an African Nation. They are big, powerful, strong and skilful.


Did I mention that we were at the England game, thought so

If the World Cup comes to South Africa in 2010 then they will do a superb job of hosting it and it is a must to come and see it.

After the game we all met @ Porky's and decided on a trip to Tiger Tiger again. Rude not to really. We had a bit of catching up to do so went straight onto the shooters and cocktails. I got Ally a 'suitcase' which includes JD, that made her sick. I'm slowly getting back at her for eating my list. She got fined 20 (£2) rand for being a girl and 50 rand (£5) for not drinking her drinks. For 6 shooters is was 69 rand (£6). We had another top night and got back at 4.30 which made another 24 hour day and what a superb day it was as well. Where else can you see a wild rhino in the morning and then watch England play in the evening. Only in Africa.

Wednesday 21st May 2003

We had an early start today as we have a long journey ahead of us. We were due to meet the colonel again at 7.20 am. Of course that is African time and basically means about 20 minutes after our time. I've never met such a laid back man. We had a 3 hour journey up the coast (sort of) to Mtubatuba. All we passed on the way was fields and fields of Sugar cane. There were the occassionally dwellings made from breeze blocks and corrugated iron roofs. We are due to play 121 battalion South African Infantry, who we were told are the best team in Natal. Don't know what that means.

Mtubatuba was a bustling place centred on a cross roads with a KFC. Very black too.

The game was played in front of a crowd of about 200 and we kicked off at 12.00 in 32 degree heat. I started at left midfield and after an initial period of settling in due to some personel and tactical changes we set our stall out and gave a very good account of ourselves. We again failed to convert the chances that we created and were again victims of poor refereeing decisions. This time we did have lines on the pitch. The ref gave us a free kick inside the box for a push on our player and also turned down a blatant penalty after he said our player dived. I'm not sure we would have got out of there alive had we scored. We unfortunately lost 1-0 to an early goal.

We were again entertained by our hosts to a BBQ after the match. I made the mistake of entering the bar when the colonel was in there. He says 'It is a tradition over here that we toast to a good game'.

I'm like 'Well I've just played in it and all I want is water coz I've lost about 8 stone whilst playing'.

'No No No' he says 'Sambucca!'

'Bastard!'

We left the club to make our 45 minute trek to the Umfolozi game reserve where we were to spend the night. The road was mainly unmade and we passed through a number of shanty towns each with shithole houses and a shop with a Coca Cola sign outside. Very bizarre.

We arrived at the entrance to the game reserve and had a 20 km journey into the Reserve to find our accomodation at the Mpila camp. The Mpila camp in a series of chalets in the middle of Bush. Our chalets was open to the elements and all the creatures on the reserve. We spent the night among lizards and spiders, but lucklily no lions or elephants. You've got to admire us though because we decided it would be a good idea to have a BBQ in the dark even with the threat of lions about.


Does anyone think that this BBQ is a bad idea, especially when this sign is on your fridge

Tuesday 20th May 2003

We had an early training session today @ 9.30 to give us the afternoon to ourselves. These are the best sessions I've done and I've learnt alot. Still shit though.

Monday 19th May 2003

Today's training session was thorough and was again conducted in seering heat. Some of the guys are really beginning to feel the pace of the heat, loss of fluids, late nights and general body wear and tear.

It appears that some of the other guys had a more interesting night than we did. They went to Joe Cools, which is a club down on Durban beach. It has also been nominated as the meeting place for the England thugs. Joe Cool's has been put out of bounds to us, to ensure our safety and in consideration of what we are representing.

A couple of the blokes were also scammed by a couple of coloured girls that had met as well. They picked on the drunk one's and knicked their trainers, wallets and sunglasses.

Another guy fell off a table in a 'freak' accident and landed on a glass. He needed 20 stitches and it cost him £120 (even the health care is cheap). From our squad of 17 we now have 2 who are out for the rest of the tour with 3 games to play.

We also had a few of the rooms thrashed by a band of 'cheeky' monkeys (real ones). They broke in the room through the patio doors, had a bit of a party, but only got away with a handful of bananas. Only in Africa!!!

Sunday 18th May 2003

Today was our first day of leisure or so I thought. I took a stroll into Uhmlanga Rocks centre to try and catch up on my blog and E Mails (Thanks Guys) and spent an hour and a half. It only cost 40 rand (£4) so that's a bargain.

Little did I know that there had been a training session arranged for the afternoon that I missed so I incurred a 50 rand (£5) fine for that. What a spanner. Put that fine on top of the fine I got because Ally ate my fines list and I'm £25 down. Yes she did eat it. Swallowed and everything. One sambucca and she's out of it. I did get back at her though, by moving her bed out on to the balcony. Head board and working table lamps.

The England fans have also begun to arrive in force and with them they always bring a small minority of twats.

In the evening we went to Porky's 2800 rand (£280) for 23 of us and then it was karaoke night. I don't think they had counted on us lot turning up. I sang RHCP 'Can't Stop' and absolutely crucified it. Far to harder song to sing. We then decided to enter into a sing off with the England by singing 'Flower of Scotland' at them. They didn't appreciate that, but it did break the ice.

These England fans were amazing though. They have followed England all over the world. One guy hasn't missed a game home or away since 1995. Now that is dedication.

Eventually we all ended the evening by all singing the obligitary 'Bohemian Rhapsody'. Mind it was 4 in the morning.

Saturday 17th May 2003

We had an early start at 10.15am as we were meeting a South African Colonel, at the Hilton, to take us on to our game at the naval base. We were all correctly dressed in our white shorts and maroon polo shirts. We looked the part, apart from a few green faces and now we just have to hope that we play the part.

The colonel arrived a little late in a scruffy old T Shirt and an old sharabang and we followed him to the venue.

The pitch had goals, but no lines. At least we were playing on grass. Now I've done my fair share of warm ups, but Ally's (the female physio) was the best I have done. We then had a chat from the manager (Shultzy), but were completely distracted by our opponents warm up. They were a team of zulu's and performed some kind of dance, but they were all in time and chanted in unison. We had no response to that.

I was named as a sub, which is no surprise, considering I'm a hanger on and shit. I didn't fancy turning out against a team of fit zulus in 27 degree heat anyway. We started quite well, but soon the exertions of the previous day (and night) and the heat began to take their toll. The zulu's chances got more and more regular as the half progressed. We were no match for their fitness, speed and short ball play. Bizarrely in one of our brief sojourns into their box we scored a scrappy goal.

I was brought on at half time which surprised me no end. Again in the first 20 minutes we did well and had chances to go 2 ahead which we failed to convert. Again as the half continued we faded badly and with the rolling subs in effect we conceded 2 late goals. It was almost worth it when you saw the reaction of the zulu's. It obviously meant so much to them.

In any game of football you always get some strange moments. The lines were marked by bricks. This probably caused the most controversial moment of the game when Rob was scythed down and the ref gave a free kick that would have been inside the box had we had one. There first goal was also clearly offside. The ref and 1 linesman did very well, but the other linesman was clearly 'on one'.

The worst quote of the day came from the manager when he said 'right Danny warm up.' Danny then came on for the last 10 minutes when we were leading 1-0. We all know what happened then.

We had a cold shower after the game (that was needed) and were invited back to the colonels barracks so that they could entertain us.

What followed was probably one of the best afternoons of my life. The crack and banter with the lads was superb and we were entertained royally. We in turn drunk the bar dry. The zulus sang songs for us in perfect harmony, all we could retort with was '10 green bottles'.

As we left everyone of the zulu's shook us by the hand and it was agreed that either they will come to us or we will return to them in a more official capacity.

We returned to the apartment at 8 and decided on a quick turnaround to get down to 'Tiger Tiger' again. This time there was 16 of us.

The clientelle was slighty older than the night before and again all white (apart from 3 in our party). The prices were the same as the night before.

I've no doubt that South Africa has changed a great deal over the last few years, but it is still a country that has 2 very different cultures that have not entirely mixed as yet. It is a place where there are very few middle class black families and even less lower class white families. I would say that most of the white locals are conceited and arrogant, but at least we had a few extra holiday makers to chat to. Having just had an afternoon with the zulus who had been absolutely delighted to chat with us and we with them, it was strange to experience this again. No doubt there are black clubs that no whites go to.

We left at 4am (it doesn't close until 5 am, why aren't English clubs like that?). We got a taxi back to Uhmlanga and had a chat with Edwin (our driver). It doesn't take long to realize in South Africa that all the Shop workers, taxi drivers, waiters, bottle collectors (not barmaids) are all black. Edwin has to work 6 days a week and 18 hour days. There are no white taxi drivers, but his boss is white. Integration will take time and Edwin assured us that it is far better for him now than it was in the days of apartheid. Edwin has 6 kids. His eldest boy is 27 and has a degree in Mechanical Engineering and can't find a job, it's the same for his 22 year old daughter with an IT qualification. We are hoping to get to meet Edwin again and he will take us to meet his family so we can see how he lives. We know we're not gonna change the world.

Thursday 15th May 2003 Part 3

The night started in civilized fashion with a meal at Porky's (not that Porky's). The food is dirt cheap. 57 rand for a 500g steak meal. That's about £5.70!!!

It was at this stage that I realized my nights sleep wouldn't be as long as I had expected. Someone suggested a trip into Durban. I agreed so 6 of us got a taxi to 'Tiger Tiger'. 100 rand for a 15 km, 20 min taxi journey £10.

Now 'Tiger Tiger' is set at Durban race course. The taxi man dropped us off at the wrong place and we decided to bunk accross the course, blatantly ignoring the 'Keep off the Grass' signs. Now I was only expecting a school fatigue from a Nazi prefect, but no the spotlight came and I'm sure they fired a shot accross our bows.

When we found the proper entrance (spot the non local) it cost us £2 to get in and it was free drinks till 10. They also gave away free shots at various stages during the night. When I did buy a round it was £4.50 for 3 beers, a smirnoff ice and a tequilla. Cheap as chips.

The place was a real eye opener. The ratio of women to men was at least 3:1 and the quality was extremely high. It proved incredibly difficult to talk to any other groups of people. They all seem to come out in groups, dance in groups, drinks in groups, chat in groups and go home in groups. They hardly mix with anyone else.

So after not expecting a late one we eventually rolled in at 2. The longest day ever from 6am Thursday till 2 am Saturday.

'I can't believe someone bought me Tequilla!!!'

Thursday 15th May 2003 Part 2

Now I'm about to go on my first 10.5 hour flight and I feel strangely calm. I'm just looking forward to the adventures ahead.

Now for the next paragraph I'm gonna turn into a sad case, but I'm flying on a Jumbo. I've always wanted to do it. When I was young I wanted to fly for Qantas so that I could go to Australia everyday. I then found out you need A Levels (thats me knackered) and you need to taller than knee high to a grasshopper (thats me definately knackered). I can also remember doing a CDT project on Boeing 747's. The only thing that I can remember from it is that the 747-400 has 12ft winglets. When it gets light I'll confirm that.


There you go 12ft winglets, I knew I remembered something from school. YAWN! BTW - That's Africa beneath the clouds, honest!

In truth flying a Jumbo is pretty similar too any other plane. It feels stable and you've got a little more room. The screens in the head rests are really woozy do though. Our flight wasn't even half full so you could have come Brooksy.

Right so now I've got 10.5 hours in a plane to fly 9084 km. The trip started well because they showed Transworld Sport. I was addicted to Transworld Sport when I was at DYRMS and it brought back some nice memories. I had a Gin and Tonic and felt very civilized. I then watched 'Analyze That' and 'Catch me if you can'. What a pile of shit they were, but at least they passed a couple of hours.

I can't emphasis enough how boring long haul flying is. The space was adequate but then I'm a dwarf.

It was weird looking out the windows during the night. I guess most of you have flown over somewhere inhabited at night and witnessed the bright lights below. Well over Africa you can see nothing. Very bizarre. It's just land as far as the can see.

We arrived in Jo'Burg on time, but only had about 40 minutes to make our connection to Durban. Met a very nice porter who ran us up to the next terminal and chatted about Football and the arrival of the England team. He was mad on football. Saw all my new team mates in the terminal building looking resplendant in there matching tracksuits, they had arrived about an hour before me and were leaving 30 mins later. It was just a quick 45 minute hop to Durban and then we all met at the other end.

From the terminal we took a minibus to the Durban Hilton where we are to pick up our transport for the fortnight. The minibus held all the squad (just) and the driver wedged us in the bus with our luggage. Madness.

Initial impressions of South Africa are that it is very green and the soil is very red. All the billboards are advertising the English FA Cup final. Sport Mad!!

We picked up our combis and got to our apartment at the Licorna Beach in Uhmlanga Rocks (15 km north of Durban. The management decided it would be good to have a training session on the beach. So after 22 hours of travelling we had an hour long kick around.

In truth I feel that we could be in any city in the world and I'm a little underwhelmed by it all. Maybe after a nights sleep I feel better about it. Little did I know what was planned.

Thursday 15th May 2003 Part 1

Arrived safe and sound and in good order what feels like ages ago. We've been on the go since I left work and this is my first free moment since then. So much has happened in that time that I can't quite take it in. I've got a lot of writing to do so I'll break it up in handy bitesize bits for my readers (if I have any). I've found it good taking notes on events, it is surprising the things that you forget.

I've had many requests for things to take back home to people, fridge magnets, postcards, fags, furry things and an Uzi. I'm not quite sure that he realizes the significance of his request, but if he gives me a ride on his Harley then I'll see what I can turn up for you mate.

Back to the Thursday 15th. I returned home from work to a cat free house, which is a very strange experience. Red and Blue have gone to a cattery and are sharing a run together. Despite the fact that they are sisters they are completely independent so they'll either come back soul mates or have bald patches all over them.

I took a cab to the meeting point to meet the squad, they all seem like a nice bunch of lads and the female physio will go down very well me thinks.

Somehow I managed to get stiffed though. They found out that I count beans and put me in charge of the fines money for the end of tour piss up.

One of the blokes turned up with worst suitcase I have ever seen. It was floral, absolutely hideous.

'What the hell's that McGowan?',

'I know, my wife packed it' he said weighing it. 'I thinks she's still inside it.'

'It's not the weight mate, it's the colour. The last time I saw material like that was on a pair of curtains. The curtains then closed and burnt my Gran.'


The Worst Suitcase in the World Ever!

It turns out our coach had been booked for 05.00 and not 17.00. Not surprisingly the coach driver turned up at 5 in the morning and was greeted by absolutely no one. Even less surprisingly the driver had run out of tacograph hours by 17.00 so we had to get 25 of us, each with 30kg cases into 2 18 seater minibuses. Now that is what I call bonding.

The minibus took us to Terminal 3, we got the tin opener out and disembarked. Now you've got to remember that I'm really a hanger on on this tour. I booked my flight and accomodation separately and when I looked at the departure screen I couldn't see my flight number on the board. The team were flying Virgin, I'm going South African Airways. As it turns out all SAA flights go from Terminal 1. So there I was trekking across Heathrow airport, realizing the first reason that you give yourself 3 hours to check in.

Checked in alright and then had my first experience of English Airport security since Sept 11. They obviously had a new toy to play with. It was like something out of Total Recall. It was very new and very shiny and very very slow. After about 30 minutes of mucking around, they decided to revert to the good old method of a metal detector and a decent frisk. They then asked to check the souls of my shoes. I'm not sure what made me look suspicious, prehaps they knew that it was this very morning that I shaved of my big bushy billy broo styly beard. It's at time like this that I wish I had pushchair. So theres the second reason to give 3 hours to check in.

The third reason is the duty free. I haven't been shopping since September so I fancied a spend up. I bought myself a portable CD player so at least I can now get my fix of RHCP, Eminem and Les Mis in Durban. I also bought a 128 mb camera card so I can bore you guys rigid with photos. I then got a pair of Timberlands for my bush hike. I didn't want to stretch to the $300 pair of Oakley shades that I fancied. I think thats the Bean counter in me.

Well 8 hours of work to go. Got my football kit last night. Squad number 18, which isn't bad considering I've never played for the team before. They very kindly gave me a smart new tracksuit, T Shirts, Shorts and Socks. I think I'm gonna look the part if nothing else. I had to pay £60 for the privilege, but I reckon that is a bargain. I was also given about 10 tubes of toothpaste, breathe freshners, chewing gum, mouth wash and mints. I asked if I had upset them and had to check my own breathe. Apparently I was minty fresh anyway, but they were freebies for me to give away when we visit the locals in the townships. I thought we were just going away for a booze up, but apparently we are going to be doing some good as well.

Any how my case is packed and I'm ready for the off. In the words of Ant and Dec 'Let's get ready to rumble!' God I'm even starting to worry myself now.

38 hours till I'm on the plane. Not quite sure what I'm letting myself in for at the moment. Never particularly minded flying, but my last few flights have been (what shall we say) interesting! The longest flight I have managed so far is 3 hours 45 minutes to Tenerife. So, needless to say, a 12 hour night flight to Jo'burg and then a 2 hour connection to Durban will be a new experience. Apart from slight (and I mean slight) anxiety about the flight I am really looking forward to everything about this break. I'm looking on it as a taster for the Bloo Buoy World Tour. I'm really looking forward to meeting my new team mates, I'm not sure they are ready for me and I really hope I don't manage to score any more own goals. Apparently we are training every day, I mean I do like football, but training every day on my holibops, come on. It's been confirmed that we have got tickets for the England game on Thursday 22nd. The Game Reserve should be cool, and the Battlefield tours. I'm also looking forward to getting to Uhmlanga Rocks, where we are staying. Everyone who I've spoken to says that it is absolutely beautiful and there's a casino (that 5000 rand isn't gonna go far). The woman from the apartments we are staying at said all we needed to bring was a beach towel. We'll see.


2 questions have sprung into my mind today.

1. Why is it that when you know you are going away and you are trying to get ahead of your workload, do more people keep adding to your piles (of paper)? I think it is a conspiracy to make me miss my flight. I feel like telling them all that I've closed down till christmas, now P*ss off and come back next year!

2. Why is is that when you are about to catch a plane does everyone want to talk about the latest plane crashes? I had a cheery conversation with Colin yesterday, in which he told me about the latest Russian plane crash.

"The pilot and co pilot survived" He said with a smile on his face.
"That's good then, couldn't have been to bad!" I responded.
"Yeah, it was bad all the passengers got sucked out the back" He said, still smiling.
"Colin, In this case I couldn't give a toss that the pilot and co pilot are okay, because I'm not going to be flying the South African Airways flight tomorrow night!!!" Pratt.

I also watched the BBC 2 programme "The night that Britain stopped". I began watching it thinking that it was a documentary about an event that happened a while ago. It wasn't until it got to the point that the 2 planes collided over Heathrow and scattered themselves over 3 miles, that I realised it wasn't about a real event (yet), that was also the point that I switched off. Very Cheery!

On the plus side, Eastwood adviced me to buy the latest edition to FHM to help the flight go quicker, and because she wanted to browse through it. Inside is a little book of bloke. I had a flick through last night and in the back it has stats on plane crashes. Did you know that there have been 47 fatal events in 78 million Boeing 737 flights and 4 fatal events in 8 million Boeing 747 flights. Something like that anyway.


Banked the cheque for my car. Everyone's asking 'Do you miss it?'. Initally I thought not (after all it's only a car), but having driven my Mum's 1.2 Corsa into work today, I do miss it a little bit. It's fair to say that my travelling time is going to be longer.


Signing my contract for my house rental today. The bloke is moving in on Saturday. It's getting better all the time. My Committments are deminishing rapidly.

Today is quite a significant day in the Bloo Buoy world tour. Today is the day I sell my car. Goodbye hairdressers car, hello cheque. Decided to bank the money now to maximise my year out fund. Next step is to buy my ticket, coz September will soon be here. Still not heard anything back from my boss, that's beginning to matter less and less though.


The Hairdressers car that went today!

Today was also important because I passed my DAS Motorcycle test, which means I can ride anything I want now. Prehaps a bit of travelling via motorcycle is in order. I managed to Pass with only 3 MINOR errors. Well chuffed. I was a bit worried about my impending test when I went for a ride before hand. I managed to mount the kerb on my U turn, stall every time I pulled away and leave my indicators on all the time. All would be failures in the test.

They say 'It'll be alright on the night' and it all went well on the test apart from the thunder and hail storm. They didn't teach me how to deal with hail stones bouncing off my bonce. It was most disconcerting, because not only was I hearing hailstones hitting my helmet, but also hailstones hitting my examiners helmet, through my ear piece. At one time I looked down and had a pile of ice in my crotch. I'm now sitting at my desk with cold and wet testicles, but a pass certificate in my hands and a smile on my face.

I was also awarded the Clubman of the Year for Fleet Town on Friday. The Chairman said that without me the club could not run. That's a bit of a worry considering I'm not going to be there next season. Ho Hum!!

South Africa on Thursday night. 3 and a bit days of work left. Come on!!