Wednesday 29th October 2003, Day 46/273, Key West, Florida

Happy Birthday Beemer

Sorry if today's posting is a bit dull, but I guess that just reflects the day I've had. Today I've seen the southern most point in the USA. I then saw the southern most hotel in the USA, then the southern most swimwear shop, the southern most grocery and deli etc. etc. You get my drift. I've also seen the US Airforce base that I reckon is south of the southern most point in the USA. Maybe the base is in stealth mode and I'm the only one who can see it. Maybe I've got secret powers.



Who cares?

Anywho I also reckon that the airforce base is slightly less than 90 miles to Cuba. Ever so slightly less, but who cares. Who cares that Ernest Hemingway had a house here and President Truman moved the White House here for a summer or a winter (I forget which) of some year. Alright so maybe some of you care, but I bet that none of you care that mile marker 0 of US route 1 is here, but you're not the fool who took a photo of it.


The American base that is further south, but no one knows about it.

Ernest's house.

The 0 mile marker.

I quite fancied coming to Key West and going out on a boat and doing some sea fishing, but they wanted $125 for the privilege of my company for the day, so I bought a Daily Mail and read it cover to cover whilst sitting on the dock. It was the first bit of decent reporting that I'd read or seen since I've been here. I totally burnt my leg and shoulders in the process and I think it could be agony carrying my rucksack tomorrow.

In fairness to Key West it's a holiday/party island, totally setup for the tourist. You would have a wicked time here if you had a booze budget. There is live music in every bar. I reckon the best time to come is during one of the festivals, if you can get a room. I looked at some photos in shop windows and the festivals just seem like an excuse to get your mammary glands out and cover them in body paint. I have no problem with that. Another thing I noticed was that all the blokes are really fat and the girls are gorgeous. Did I say this place was dull? I must have caught too much sun.

On another subject I can't find a decent book shop in the whole of the USA.

On a brighter note, my Mum and Dad have booked a flight and a hotel (on the internet, what is the world coming to) and are coming out to see me in San Francisco for Christmas. So I might get some presents after all.

Tuesday 28th October 2003, Day 45/273, Homestead, Everglades, Florida to Key West, Florida

I watched my final Sky Sports news for a while and then Edwin (from the hostel) gave me a lift to the Greyhound stop in Homestead. I really like it here. The hostel was really nice, the people were really nice and the Everglades were beautiful. It's really the first place that I could have stayed longer. I felt there was more that I could of seen and done, but on the flip side there are other places in the world and I can always come back.

So I caught the 13.30 bus to Key West. It feels strange to be travelling alone again. I feel a little uneasy and insecure. I'm not sure whether that's because I'm alone or whether it's because I haven't arranged any accomodation in Key West and I've been hearing stories that the hostel in Key West wasn't very good and your gear wasn't safe.

I've always fancied a trip to the Keys. The Keys are a series of islands right at the bottom of Florida and the USA. They are joined by a series of manmade sandbars and bridges (including one that's 7 miles long). Key West is the last of these islands and is the southern most point of the USA. It's only 90 miles away from Cuba. It's famous for it's festivals and general liberal attitudes.


One of the bridges.

It was nice to be on a relatively empty bus, although it's a shame it's only a 4 hour trip. It still had it's fair share of weirdo's on board. I had a strange conversation with a woman. It went along the lines of:-

Weird woman - "Why are you still alive?"

Bloo - "Pardon me"

Weird woman - "Why are you still alive?"

Bloo - "I'm sorry, what did you say?"

Weird woman - "Where are you from?"

Bloo - "England" thinking 'lying cow'

Weird woman - "Oh really so am I" in a distinctly american accent

Bloo - "Where abouts?"

Weird Woman - "London or was it France?"

Bloo - (thinking) 'go away strange woman'

She stared at me for a while. I pretended to be more interested in my french fries (which I was) and eventually she sauntered off. Other than that the trip was uneventful. Saw lots of palm trees, ocean, fishermen, boats, bridges and I finished my 3rd book of the tour, before arriving in Key West @ 17.15.

I toyed with the idea of getting a hotel room as I need a bath and have my doubts about the hostel, but figured that I may as well take advantage of the cheap accomodation while I can. For $19.50 you get a bed in a 10 bed dorm @ the HI - Key West, 718 South Street. The dorms are more like cells. There are no pictures of buddha or hippy messages on the wall like there are in most hostels. It's bright yellow, but drab if you know what I mean. The hostel has a bad vibe to it, but I'm not sure if that's because of what I've been told. It feels very clicky and not very homely (unlike the Everglades hostel).

The first bloke I meet in the dorm says he has come down from New York because he keeps getting arrested for no reason (yeah right). He's probably on the run. He doesn't help alter my first impressions, but at least he feels at home in the cell/dorm. His parting words to me were "I'm working nights on the door in a bar in town so if you wake me in the day, I'll put you through that fucking wall." I can tell this will be a long 2 nights.



The hostel doesn't offer alot, no TV , no internet, no laundry and a sparse kitchen, but it is close to downtown so I go to explore. Duval Street is a strange concoction. It classy, tacky and sleazy all in one go. It's totally set up for tourists, but all tourists, young and old, rich and poor. It offers nice restaurants, next to bars called 'Willie T's', 'Sloppy Joe's' and 'Crabby Dick's'. It offers high class jewellers and cuban cigar shops next to crummy print on T shirt shops and strip bars. You can cruise the Keys on a luxury ship or have a booze up on a party boat. In honour of all these contrasting features I bought a fat $30 cuban cigar and a T shirt that said "This isn't a beer gut, it's a fuel tank for a sex machine!" and very cool I look with my pasty legs hanging out of my shorts.

Monday 27th October 2003, Day 44/273, Homestead, Everglades, Florida

In order to keep anglo-french relationships from boiling over, and due to a lack of English people in the hostel, I'm of to the alligator farm with the French man. Entry is $15 as we get a discounted rate from staying at the hostel. The first place we went to was the breeding pool that contains around 300 alligators. It's quite a strange feeling looking into a pool of that many gators with only a little fence to protect you. Everywhere you look there are eyes staring back at you.



Next on the agenda was the snake show. Where the guy/charmer (Eddie) demonstrated how the 2 different types of snake kill their prey before eating them. Firstly was the venomous snake, where Eddie waved about a King Cobra like it was a toy. This obviously kills it prey by biting it and injecting a lethal dose of venom before devouring it. The second type of snake was the constrictor that basically strangle it's prey before dining on it. He showed us a snake that feeds on other snakes (I forget the name of it). Again he was waving it around the show the assembled audience, when the snake mistook Eddie's finger for lunch and took a chomp on it. Now if you struggle against a snake bite then the snake just bites down harder and doesn't let go. It took about 5 minutes for the snake to realise that the finger wasn't lunch and let go. After the show Eddie gave us the opportunity to hold the constrictor for a photo opportunity. There weren't any takers.

Next up was an air boat ride. The farm is situated just on the boundary of the Everglades National Park and is therefore not restricted by the hand propelled craft only rule. The airboat ride takes place on existing old airboat routes so as not to destroy any more of the habitat or upset the wildlife. If any of you don't know what an airboat is, it's basically a tray with a powerful hair dryer on the back to propel it at high speed around shallow waters, as seen on 'Flipper'. This tray had 20 people on board. As I sat down in my seat an alligator surfaced right next to me. I could have patted him on the head, but I didn't as I may need the use of my arms for the rest of my life.




The water was dirtier than it was on the 'Glades, but there were many more creatures for us to see. The cute soft shelled turtles would come up to the boat looking for food. After a gentle ride to start with to see the wildlife the pilot opened it up and took us on the wild ride. The noise is deafening and the ride exhilerating, with high speed 360 degree spins. It was awesome. It's something I'd always fancied doing and guess what, I've done it.

After the ride we went to the alligator where the intrepid Eddie does really stupid things with alligators, like wrestle them and go nose to nose with them. He ain't all there that man. Afterwards we got the opportunity to hold a gator and having wrestled mine to the ground I held him up for the camera. It was a close run thing for a while as it was all of 2 foot long and had it's jaw taped up. Dear little thing though.







Me, wrestle Gator.

Next up was to watch the feeding in the breeding pool. I think they should throw 2 or 3 small children over the fence and see how they fare. I'd pay money for that, but alas it was just our friend Eddie entering through the gate, like the fool he is, and chucking rotten chicken at the gators. At this time you see the slow docile alligator become a whole other animal as there powerful strike ensures that the rotting chicken is indeed dead. From the smell of it I can confirm it is dead.


Eddie wasn't all there and deserved to be bitten.

I had a great day at the farm and when we got back to the hostel the french guy cooked for me. Thanks Folques (I think).

Oh yeah, the Marlins won the world series 4-2. So now the Yankees are getting rid of most of their players like the good losers they are. They are so similar to Man U.

Sunday 26th October 2003, Day 43/273, Homestead, Everglades, Florida

Luckily we've got 7 people signed up for todays tour so we're going out. It costs $35 including a T shirt (which I wear with pride as I write this). Having signed our lives away we headed off to the park.

The first stop was a walking trail, a rather leisurely stroll with nature. We got to see lots of wildlife, flowers, trees, wading birds, fish, turtles, snakes and a 10 foot Alligator up close in the wild. The trail kind of reminds me of the trail around Fleet pond, but with alligators and turtles and no drunken teenagers.

It may seem funny to say that I felt perfectly safe being only 10 foot away from a 10 foot alligator with no bars to protect.  You see I've been to Detroit. The are very docile creatures, they hardly move unless they have to and they don't normally go for a human unless antagonised. You see we're too big for them to swallow. They only grow to about 16 foot. When asked what 'gators eat, the guide said "Anything that swims past their snout". Very reassuring considering I'm about to go canoeing out there. Alligators can go 6 months without eating and this one looked pretty well fed.




Look, nature with no bars

Once finished with the walking trail we loaded up in the van and headed further into the Everglades to do a canoe trail. When we stopped it was hard to see the opening in the mangroves that we were supposed to get our 17.5 foot 2 man canoes through. We all got aboard our canoes and started our 2 mile trail through the tunnels formed in the mangrove bushes. The water was very clear, but red in colour.  Not from blood, but from the dye in the trees. As we moved bubbles came up to the surfaces that released the recognisable smell of rotten eggs as we disturbed the decomposing leaves on the river bed. Ahh the smell of nature.


The Opening in the Mangroves

It was full of wildlife, although we didn't get to see any gators, turtles or snakes on this portion of the tour.  They are out there. It was heaven for mozzies and hell for humans. I covered myself in insect repellant and wore a long sleeved top and trousers and the critters still got through, mainly on my ankles.


The Little Critters

Halfway round the trail we tied up the canoes and sat round and had lunch. It was so cool. Sat in a canoe in the middle of the Everglades, with the sun beating down, feet in the water, having some lunch. It was so peaceful. It was one of those moments when you turn to guide and ask him why he works here. Ahh if only Americans understood sarcasm. I can see perfectly well why he's here and very appealing it is too.


Lunch in a canoe

The only bad thing was my canoeing partner, who was at the back of the canoe and therefore in charge of steering. He said he'd steered one before, but it didn't appear that way. He was very slow to react in the tight mangrove tunnels, but I was the only one who returned with leaves and cobwebs in my teeth.


Some of the routes were pretty tight

A lot of people think the Everglades is a swamp. Infact it's more like a very wide, shallow river. It's not how I expected it to be. It has a solid limestone base with about 2 foot of water flowing over the top. All you can see is green sawgrass growing out of the limestone and through the water, so flat bottomed boats are the order of the day. Everywhere looks the same so it is very easy to get lost. The park only allows hand propelled boats, as airboats and boats with engines are distructive and disrupt the wildlife.

I had an amazing time. As with my safari earlier in the year it's great to see wildlife upclose and in the wild. It's so much nicer.

Back at the hostel I find it strange that people only seem to stay here for 1 or 2 nights when there is so much to do. There are 3 blokes who have been here for 3 years. I can see why. It is very appealing and I'll be back.

One of my new roommates is a french guy who seemed to feel that being French wasn't enough reason for me to hate him. He was surprised when I said that I was only 28. He told me he thought I was 35. At least Kev only thought I was 23. I asked the French guy his name, but I can't even pronouce it, let alone spell it.

Saturday 25th October 2003 - Day 42/273 - Homestead, Florida

So I had a 3 hour wait in Miami. Inside the terminal was freezing, it was far warmer outside at 5 in the morning. I only had a 40 minute transfer to Homestead. I called the hostel and Nicole came and picked me up, checked me in and showed me the facilities. It's really nice and only $13.00 a night for a non air conditioned 8 bed dorm. I'm staying in the Everglades International Hostel, 20 S.W. 2nd Avenue, Florida City. They offer free internet access, all they ask is a donation. They also have sky sports and some other cable channels, so I was able to spend the day vegging and watching sport that I understand and love for the first time in 6 weeks. It was only Bolton v Birmingham, but what does that matter.

The hostel is about 5 miles east of the Everglades so obviously thats the reason for coming here. I pumped the people about for the best way to explore the Everglades. The hostel arranges canoeing trips and hires out bicycles so you can do the trails. I signed up for everything going in the hope that one of the trips would have enough people to take place. I met one bloke from Glasgow, who went cycling in the 'Glades yesterday and got 187 mozzie bites. It seems I'm gonna get eaten alive, either by mozzies or a gator, but how sad for counting them.

I can't believe Salisbury have drawn Sheffield Wednesday away in the FA Cup. Lucky buggers.

Friday 24th October 2003 - Day 41/273 - Kissimee, Florida to Homestead, Florida

Time to get back into the real world and be an adult again. I've got washing to do. Gone are the days when I can spend $28 and get someone to fluff and fold my clothes. Today it is down to me. You buy powder from the hostel at $0.25, the washing machine costs $1.25, whilst the dryer costs $1.00. After washing I had my diary to do and catch up on my reading by the hostels pool and on the lake front. Life really sucks.

I got really annoyed with my hair, so I got a hair cut too. I'm not sure I like what she did, but she did wash and cut it, which was nice. She charged me $20 which wasn't.



Anyway now it is time to venture back into the real US again. After 6 nights in Kissimmee feeling very secure, I hope I haven't let down my guard for the rigours of another overnighter on the Greyhound. Firstly I had to navigate my way down to the terminal in downtown Kissimmee using the over complicated and indirect public bus service, mainly because I didn't fancy another 3 hour hike.

I met another Korean from the hostel.  We had a chat and he too was heading to the Greyhound Terminal. It's a bit of a lottery as to when you get off the bus as everywhere looks the same, but I did finally recognise something and signalled to the Korean it was time to get off.

He followed me to Kissimmee Greyhound Terminal , showed his ticket to the guy and the bloke wanted charge him an extra $9.00. It turned out that the Korean was catching his bus from Orlando and should have stayed on the public bus. It's not my fault, he nodded and smiled when I said Kissimmee.

Whilst the Korean exited I hung around to catch my Greyhound to Homestead (on the edge of the Everglades), first stop Orlando, where I had to change to the Miami bus. I surveyed the terminal and was relieved to see the Korean queuing for his bus to Atlanta. I kept a low profile as I'd cost him an extra $1.25 and I didn't want him to spot me. I'm so brave!

My next hurdle was making it into the terminal. I was subjected to a bag search where the security guard confiscated my 1 inch bladed penknife. It could be deemed a lethal weapon. It could scratch you and you could die from the infection. To be honest I knew I shouldn't have had it in my hand baggage and I'd been meaning to pack it in my rucksack for ages.

The stupid and annoying thing was about 5 minutes after I'd gone through a group of nice ladies had followed and the guards had abandoned their posts in pursuit of a date, letting all manner of herberts enter without a search. Orlando is also the only place I've been searched, although not on the first occassion I was here. The terrorists must be after Mickey.

The over officious twerps weren't done yet. Not only were they not happy at subjecting us to their awful humour, they then insisted in putting on a show of their power and might, by cuffing some poor guy and dragging him off for a debriefing. I think they were showing off for the ladies. This bloke had a 2 hour wait for his connecting bus so had been outside and bought a beer. He knew it was wrong and handed it over freely when the guards approached him.

The guards then persisted in harrassing him and threatening to offload him from his bus. After about 30 minutes of grief the bloke obviously said something wrong and so started his humiliation. American Sercurity Guards, Policemen and Customs People have a serious flaw in their personalities.  In fact it is missing in most cases.

Excitement and my own 2.5 hour wait over, I caught the 21.30 bus to Miami. It was packed with the normal inconsiderate people. I really hated this trip. The woman across the aisle from me had her discman on full blast and insisted on singing and whistling. I could hear her over my own discman (essential for Greyhound travel). There was persistant talking on the bus and mobiles ringing. Everyone was Spanish too.

We also had the oldest and most uncomfortable bus, the bumpiest roads and the worst driver in the world. He's failed to master the art of slowing for corners, braking early before stopping and releasing and reapplying the brake before you stop to prevent that awful jolting.

To top it all I was sat next to a rather large lady. On our 2 seater I took up about a quarter of the space and whenever I moved she already had some part of her flesh there. It's been a long time since I've been that intimate with anyone. Oh yeah and she snored louder than my Dad, that's pretty loud.

I'm not doing a very good job at advertising Greyhound here, but when I arrived in Miami at 4.00 am I was knackered and still not at my destination.

Thursday 23rd October 2003 - Day 40/273 - Kissimee, Florida

Final day at Disney and only 1 park to go. The 'Magic Kingdom'. This is the original park and we got there early to see the opening and to take the ferry across to the park. We got all the rides out of the way early, which in truth didn't take long. 'Splash Mountain' and 'Space Mountain' were poo and the 'Big Thunder Mountain Railroad' was closed. In fairness if you're coming to Disney to be thrilled by big rides then you'll be disappointed.







On Minnies Sofa


Outside Minnies house


There was only one thing left for us to do and that was go around and meet the characters and enjoy the magic. We stayed on to watch the 'Share a Dream' parade and then the 'SpectroMagic' parade which was followed by the most superb firework display I've ever witnessed.



Bloo and Pluto


Bloo and Tigger


Bloo and Donald


Bloo and Goofy


Bloo and Buzz


Bloo and Chip/Dale


Bloo and Dale/Chip


Bloo and Minnie


Bloo and Eyeore


Bloo and Pooh


Bloo and The Boss

So I've spent 4 full days in Disney and I've only really scratched the surface. I'd love to come back and stay at one of the resorts and have time to explore the other Disney resorts and downtown Disney. The scale of the place is unbelievable. There are loads of people who come back here year on year, particularly Americans. They must have huge disposable incomes. I think they should get a life and a passport. This place is full of Americans and English. The Americans all wearing the stars and stripes and the English in their England tops. They make me feel so proud. You also witness the whole family wearing the same matching T shirt phenomenom. Seriously, there was a family of about about 30 people wearing bright yellow T shirts, saying which generation of the family they are from. I also saw my first batch of really fat Americans and lots of them. I haven't seen many on my travels so far, so I've figured that fat americans don't work or shop, but they do go on vacation.

The best thing about Disneyworld are the shows and parades. We would have liked to have seen the Epcot show, but it was on at 21.00 and the last bus runs at 21.30. The staff are also tremendous and really enter into the spirit of it. I think it must be a dream job for them. The number of staff is truly astounding when you stop to consider it, but they keep the parks clean and keep you fed and entertained. They also never miss a chance to sell you something. The Americans have got that art down to a tee. All the museums, shows and rides in America all exit through the gift shop. They're buggers for that. The staff on all the rides are uniformed according to the theme and help build up the tension. All the rides and shows are sponsored by GM or brought to you by Kodak, the Americans have that sussed too. Our English parks have a lot to learn.

It would have been good to have done the parks with no kids, strollers or wheelchairs about, but I guess that shows I'm not ready for kids. Some people would say that it's the only child in me.

I'd have liked to have stayed for a few more days in Kissimmee and done the Universal Studios parks and Sea World, but I feel a bit drained and my wallet needs a rest. I can always do Universal in Los Angeles and Sea World in San Diego.

It's been good going to the park with someone else because you feel like a bit of a plum when the ride attendant says "How many in your party?" and you say "Um, 1!". I'm hoping to meet up with Kev in Miami next week. He's staying here for a few more days to do the other parks. We've had a right laugh. We laughed when I walked into the wall in the middle of the night. We laughed when I stole a drink from KFC (I did ask for a meal). We laughed when we were taking the mick out of people who can't work the money machines on the bus and then I tried to put my quarter in the wrong slot. I laughed when Kev tried to explain to our Korean room mate that West Ham had been in the Premiership, but the Korean had never heard of them. He laughed when he told me his joke.

"Have you heard any news about that actress who got stabbed in New York?"

"No"

"Oh, What was her surname now. Reece ..............?"

"Witherspoon"

"No, with a knife you fool"

Wednesday 22nd October 2003 - Day 39/273 - Kissimee, Florida

Got the day off from Disney for good behaviour, but not going to waste it, so I've booked myself on an excursion to the 'Kennedy Space Centre'. The KSC is 60 minutes east of Orlando which makes it tough to get to without a car and impossible by public transport. Luckily a local coach firm do excursions on Monday, Wednesday and Friday for $20. It means an 8.15 start.

The journey across this part of Florida is very pleasant, once you get out of the tourist whirl that is Kissimmee and Orlando. It's very green, with plenty of palm trees.  It is mainly marshland and a really nice climate. I'd take this place any day over dried out Spain, with it's crummy climate, although every other person here speaks Spanish.

The KSC is on an island and accessed via a causeway over the Banana River. The island is massive and the majority of it is a conservation area, with over 5000 alligators roaming free, providing extra security. There are also colonies of Manatees and Eagles.

For just under $30 you get entry into the vistor complex. You can pay extra for an up close tour.  That includes a trip to the 'Astronaut Hall of Fame' which we have no way of getting to. The first thing I did on the standard tour was take the bus out to the restricted areas, where you get to see the massive 'Vehicular Assembly Building'. The VAB is where the 'Saturn V' rockets and space shuttles are assembled and prepared, prior to transportation out to the launch pads. The building stands at 500 odd feet tall and can fit the Statue of Liberty in. Apparently when it was first built it was so tall that clouds used to form at the top, so they had to fit dehumidifiers. It fair to say it's a big building.

You don't stop at the VAB, it's just a building you pass on the way to the observation tower. Here you are treated to a video about the assembly of the shuttle, the transportation to the launch pad (which can take 10 hours to go 2 miles) and the launch itself. You can also climb the tower to view the different launch pads. No launches are planned until a satelitte launch in December, with the next shuttle launch planned for September 2004. They seem pretty confident that they have discovered what happened to Colombia in February and reckon to have resolved the problem.

The next stop on the tour is the Saturn V centre. For those who don't know this is the rocket that took man to the moon. The first show in the centre is a reenactment of a launch from mission control complete with rattling windows. You then enter the main centre and see one of the massive rockets. They also have moon buggies, capsules and moon rocks for you to look at. Then they have a show that reenacts the moon landing and news clips from the time. Yet again I find myself being amazed by something that I have always taken for granted.  Space flight and moon landings were thought to be impossible just a few years before I was born.

After this I went back to the visitor complex where you can look round a full sized space shuttle and meet an astronaut. I walked around the rocket garden which has various rockets from the different space programs. I'd have liked to have seen the Saturn V in there too.

Included in the ticket are 2 Imax shows. I'd already seen one of them, but the other 'The Dream is Alive' was very good, although it looked quite dated, was not in 3D and not dissimilar to 'Space Station 3D'. I was disappointed that the memorial to the people who have given there lives for space exploration was closed, I think they are adding Colombia to it. In all it was a very full and informative day.

2 small gripes though. Firstly the refreshments were extremely expensive. If I were you I'd bring a picnic. Secondly why do parents bring kids that are to young to understand whats going on.


The VAB

Launch Control




Space Shuttle


A real life Astronaut