Wednesday 11th February 2004, Day 151/366 - Waikiki, Oahu, Hawaii.

Went to Honolulu zoo ($6) which was cheap, but in pretty poor condition. Still plenty to see.


At one with the goat



It was nice of my Dad to make an appearance at the zoo. It was even nicer of the keeper to give him a brush

We then took the free shuttle to Hilo Hatties in Honolulu. Hilo Hatties is a big Hawaiian store. Basically there's loads of sea shells and flowery shirts.

Walked back to Waikiki and on the way stopped off for a pint in Hooters. Its a sad day, as this will be my last visit to Hooters on this tour. In honour of the occasion I bought the obligatory Hooters T Shirt. When I was browsing through the sizes the Hooters girl says 'We go right up to size 2XL.' I didn't think that I'd put on that much weight. Bless her.

Also stopped in at the cinema to watch the new Owen Wilson film 'Big Bounce' as it's set in Hawaii. What can I say about it except for 'it's crap'. The acting and directing was really poor and they didn't even do justice to the beauty of Hawaii.

Mx arrived back in Honolulu, but "couldn't" get in the hostel.

In the evening I went for a beer and pizza with Keith and Vincent from the hostel.



The Hustler

I've had a flashback to last week at Makena beach on Maui. We drove over on the hostel mini bus and you obviously get chatting to people. I spoke with Chris and his wife (a normal couple in their 40's from Colorado). You may remember that Makena had a big beach and a little beach. The little beach was for general frolicking and nudity. When I walked over there I didn't know where to put my eyes, but I do recall seeing Chris (a large gentlemen) in all his starkers glory. He just gave me a little wave and I quickly carried on, on my way knowing just a little bit too much more about Chris than I wanted to. To say that it was an awkward moment would be an understatement.

I also forgot it was a leap year so I get an extra day away this year.

A MAN IS LYING IN BED IN THE HOSPITAL WITH AN OXYGEN MASK OVER HIS MOUTH. A YOUNG NURSE APPEARS TO SPONGE HIS HANDS AND FEET.

"NURSE", HE MUMBLES FROM BEHIND THE MASK, "ARE MY TESTICLES BLACK?"

EMBARRASSED, THE YOUNG NURSE REPLIES, "I DON'T KNOW, I'M ONLY HERE TO WASH YOUR HANDS AND FEET"

HE STRUGGLES AGAIN TO ASK, "NURSE, ARE MY TESTICLES BLACK?"

FINALLY, SHE PULLS BACK THE COVERS, RAISES HIS GOWN, HOLDS HIS PENIS IN ONE HAND AND HIS TESTICLES IN HER OTHER HAND AND TAKES A CLOSE LOOK, AND SAYS, "THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THEM!"

FINALLY, THE MAN PULLS OFF HIS OXYGEN MASK AND REPLIES, "THAT WAS VERY NICE BUT, ARE... MY... TEST... RESULTS... BACK???"