Saturday 31st July 2004 - Day 321/365 - Singapore, Singapore.
It's 9am and I'm sweating my nee nees off. It's no warmer than Darwin, it's pure humidity. I can't see the sun either and now it's started raining.
Its all very quiet in these parts at this hour, but I think its the calm before the storm.
There are shopping plazas on every block. So much choice you wouldn't even know where to start. It's no cheaper than anywhere else, until you start haggling in the arcades with the independents, but then you have to question the authenticity.
I got suckered into being measured for a shirt and a suit. It's okay, I pleaded poverty, but I did discover that my neck is now 17 inches. Thats 1.5 inches in a year. What a bloater!
And what about the public toilets. I know we had a messy problem at Fluor with the muslims, but the only time I've experienced holes in the ground for loos is in uncivilized countries like France.
I've finally given in and bought myself a pair of thongs. Never thought I would, but after 11 months of warm weather and socks its even too much for me. After all the micky taking I've relented. I'm weak I know.
I ended up in a really seedy shopping plaza where women kept offering me massages charged by the minute. I was only looking for the internet cafe.
I still haven't answered the - What do I want from a partner? question. The only thing i'm sure of is trust and an encyclopaedic knowledge of all things sporting. To that end it seems unwise to subject anyone to the Reevesy curse. I'm adopting the be yourself and wait and see what happens strategy.
Saturday, July 31, 2004
Thursday, July 29, 2004
Friday 30th July 2004 - Day 320/365 - Perth, Western Australia to Singapore, Singapore.
So Asia is a bit of a voyage of discovery for me. I'm not so concerned about Singapore, but not sure what to expect when I get into Malaysia and Thailand. Still it's only 6 weeks. What can happen to me in 6 weeks.
On the shuttle to the airport there was a young couple who had obviously very recently just hooked up. They gave a soft porn display for the whole bus to see. Look guys it's great that you are in lust, but please take yourselves up the back.
After a 5 hour flight, with a bit of turbulence crossing the equator, I find myself in an aeroplane looking at a rather underwhelming airport. I don't know why I expected anything else. Once inside the terminal it's very pleasant.
It's my first time in Asia and my first time back in the Northern Hemisphere since Valentines Day.
I got a free copy of the FT when I booked my shuttle. I must look so business like with my Rucksack and battered boots. Wheres the Sports section?
I'm staying at the Orchard Parade Hotel as booked by my Mum and Dad, who arrive here on Sunday.
They love there gadgets out here. Everybody has a mobile phone with the wireless earpieces. The shuttle bus had a music dvd player. Nothing like a bit of Black Eyed Peas to remind me of NZ.
Did you know that I was nearly Malayan. When my Dad was stationed out here, just before the stone age I think (hence his reason for coming back), he dated a Malayan called Wee Pin (no really). See if he'd have married her then I'd have been half Malayan. Instead he married a Scot, but I'm 100% ENGLISH.
I wasted no time in having a bath (how long it's been?). In the whole bath/shower debate I still much prefer baths. After my bath I hit the strasse.
Our Hotel is right on Orchard Road which is the main shopping road. All the usual western suspects have shops here, but it's not like a western city. Perhaps it's all the dark faces.
I'm totally lost in the crowd. It's mad, hectic and crazy all at once. Everyone knows where they are going except for me, but thats cools, coz I'm only looking for some food. I resisted the urge to go to Pizza Hut or Burger King and joined the longest queue in the food court. I ended up with a rather tasteless claypot of Roast Pork and Rice.
Everybody told me that Singapore was a very clean city. I expected something very sterile, with cleaners everywhere and police men busting you for chewing gum. It's nothing of the sort. It's certainly not a dirty city, but I haven't noticed too much difference. There's plenty of traffic on the roads and lots of building work. Alot of the old colonial building seem to be in a state of disrepair.
The women are beautiful, never really been into asian women before, but I guess when it's all you've got to look at then beggars can't be choosers and all that.
Mum will be happy, coz theres an M&S.
It all reminds me of the feeling I had when I first got to Vegas. My eyes are everywhere. It abuses every sense you've ever had and some you didn't even realise existed.
BLOO GUIDE TO AUSTRALIA.
What can I say. Fantastic country. Really enjoyed my time travelling around and it's very easy to do. If anything it's too easy to get about, especially up the east coast. All the hostels come and pick you up from the bus stops.
The east coast was a well trod traveller path and the further up the coast you go, the more partying happens and the travellers there are. I had a fab time, but it wasn't until I got into the NT and Western Australia that I really felt that I was seeing the real Oz. 3 months wasn't long enough to see all I wanted.
I saw some fascinating creatures that you just don't get to see in the wild in other countries. Thorny Devil, Platypus, Kangaroos, Wallabys, Koalas, Camels, Emu, Dingos, Echnidas, Tazzy devils, Wombats and crocodiles. I'm sure I've missed some. I didn't see any deadly spiders, jelly fish or snakes. Saw a couple of big Huntsman and golden orbs, but they didn't frighten me like the common house spider does at home.
Australians really do use words like - Mongrel, Fair dinkum, Feral (instead of ghetto), heaps and holy doly. All the blokes seem to have brillo pads on there chins. They call them flava savers. They don't sell beer by the pint, it's either midis, schooners or jugs. All the beers are regionalized and none of them drink fosters.
For me the best parts were The Red Centre and the west Coast. The biggest disappointment would have to be the Barrier Reef. I suppose it's famous for its size and you really don't get to appreciate that, by snorkelling on a tiny bit of it. I've definatly snorkelled in better places, like Fiji or Hawaii.
I didn't meet many australians. Oz is full of travellers and appears to be reliant on the tourist dollar.
I've been asked if I prefer NZ or Oz. Oz for much of it is like being in Europe but hot. I've had some great times, but the only inkling I've got of the real oz is in Kingaroy and Newcastle. I enjoyed those places too, but it's was far from what most backpackers take back home as an impression of Oz. New Zealand is New Zealand, unique and very special, but go visit Oz too.
So Asia is a bit of a voyage of discovery for me. I'm not so concerned about Singapore, but not sure what to expect when I get into Malaysia and Thailand. Still it's only 6 weeks. What can happen to me in 6 weeks.
On the shuttle to the airport there was a young couple who had obviously very recently just hooked up. They gave a soft porn display for the whole bus to see. Look guys it's great that you are in lust, but please take yourselves up the back.
After a 5 hour flight, with a bit of turbulence crossing the equator, I find myself in an aeroplane looking at a rather underwhelming airport. I don't know why I expected anything else. Once inside the terminal it's very pleasant.
It's my first time in Asia and my first time back in the Northern Hemisphere since Valentines Day.
I got a free copy of the FT when I booked my shuttle. I must look so business like with my Rucksack and battered boots. Wheres the Sports section?
I'm staying at the Orchard Parade Hotel as booked by my Mum and Dad, who arrive here on Sunday.
They love there gadgets out here. Everybody has a mobile phone with the wireless earpieces. The shuttle bus had a music dvd player. Nothing like a bit of Black Eyed Peas to remind me of NZ.
Did you know that I was nearly Malayan. When my Dad was stationed out here, just before the stone age I think (hence his reason for coming back), he dated a Malayan called Wee Pin (no really). See if he'd have married her then I'd have been half Malayan. Instead he married a Scot, but I'm 100% ENGLISH.
I wasted no time in having a bath (how long it's been?). In the whole bath/shower debate I still much prefer baths. After my bath I hit the strasse.
Our Hotel is right on Orchard Road which is the main shopping road. All the usual western suspects have shops here, but it's not like a western city. Perhaps it's all the dark faces.
I'm totally lost in the crowd. It's mad, hectic and crazy all at once. Everyone knows where they are going except for me, but thats cools, coz I'm only looking for some food. I resisted the urge to go to Pizza Hut or Burger King and joined the longest queue in the food court. I ended up with a rather tasteless claypot of Roast Pork and Rice.
Everybody told me that Singapore was a very clean city. I expected something very sterile, with cleaners everywhere and police men busting you for chewing gum. It's nothing of the sort. It's certainly not a dirty city, but I haven't noticed too much difference. There's plenty of traffic on the roads and lots of building work. Alot of the old colonial building seem to be in a state of disrepair.
The women are beautiful, never really been into asian women before, but I guess when it's all you've got to look at then beggars can't be choosers and all that.
Mum will be happy, coz theres an M&S.
It all reminds me of the feeling I had when I first got to Vegas. My eyes are everywhere. It abuses every sense you've ever had and some you didn't even realise existed.
BLOO GUIDE TO AUSTRALIA.
What can I say. Fantastic country. Really enjoyed my time travelling around and it's very easy to do. If anything it's too easy to get about, especially up the east coast. All the hostels come and pick you up from the bus stops.
The east coast was a well trod traveller path and the further up the coast you go, the more partying happens and the travellers there are. I had a fab time, but it wasn't until I got into the NT and Western Australia that I really felt that I was seeing the real Oz. 3 months wasn't long enough to see all I wanted.
I saw some fascinating creatures that you just don't get to see in the wild in other countries. Thorny Devil, Platypus, Kangaroos, Wallabys, Koalas, Camels, Emu, Dingos, Echnidas, Tazzy devils, Wombats and crocodiles. I'm sure I've missed some. I didn't see any deadly spiders, jelly fish or snakes. Saw a couple of big Huntsman and golden orbs, but they didn't frighten me like the common house spider does at home.
Australians really do use words like - Mongrel, Fair dinkum, Feral (instead of ghetto), heaps and holy doly. All the blokes seem to have brillo pads on there chins. They call them flava savers. They don't sell beer by the pint, it's either midis, schooners or jugs. All the beers are regionalized and none of them drink fosters.
For me the best parts were The Red Centre and the west Coast. The biggest disappointment would have to be the Barrier Reef. I suppose it's famous for its size and you really don't get to appreciate that, by snorkelling on a tiny bit of it. I've definatly snorkelled in better places, like Fiji or Hawaii.
I didn't meet many australians. Oz is full of travellers and appears to be reliant on the tourist dollar.
I've been asked if I prefer NZ or Oz. Oz for much of it is like being in Europe but hot. I've had some great times, but the only inkling I've got of the real oz is in Kingaroy and Newcastle. I enjoyed those places too, but it's was far from what most backpackers take back home as an impression of Oz. New Zealand is New Zealand, unique and very special, but go visit Oz too.
Thursday 29th July 2004 - Day 319/365 - Albany, Western Australia to Perth, Western Australia.
2 nights of beer and pizza and it's off back to Perth for 1 night only. It's been a while since I spent more than 2 nights in a row in the same bed.
Over the last 3 days I've seen 3 old ladies do comedy tumbles. 1 tripped over a guitar case. another lost her footing whilst trying to stand in a moving bus. The last tripped over her own feet. Of course I didn't rush to there aid. i was too busy creasing up. I should say that no old ladies were hurt in the production of this blog.
2 nights of beer and pizza and it's off back to Perth for 1 night only. It's been a while since I spent more than 2 nights in a row in the same bed.
Over the last 3 days I've seen 3 old ladies do comedy tumbles. 1 tripped over a guitar case. another lost her footing whilst trying to stand in a moving bus. The last tripped over her own feet. Of course I didn't rush to there aid. i was too busy creasing up. I should say that no old ladies were hurt in the production of this blog.
Wednesday 28th July 2004 - Day 318/365 - Albany, Western Australia.
Happy Anniversary Mum and Dad! Is it really 30 years.
Had a bit of thought today. Lone coach journeys tend to do that to me. Todays question is :- What is the Meaning of Life? Answers on a postcard, comments, e mail or text message.
The reason I ask is that i know my Dad is going to ask me what my plans are when I see him next week. Not in a bad way, but just coz he's a concerned parent and thats what he does and I suppose he cares too. I'm not sure what my answer would be, apart from I want to be happy. There just seems so many things that I just can't control. It all leads to another question :- What makes you happy?
I was just thinking back to my little Purple Pixie friend Nicola. I first spotted her in a night club in Darwin. She was with her friends and they were putting glow sticks all over the place. I was with a group of her male acquaintances and was pillaging the glow sticks from said places. We never spoke to each other. When I reminded her of the night she recalled me, but thought I was just some random drunk guy. She did confirm that her friend, Coleen, pointed me out as her backup, in case her fella turned up. He did turn up, but can you believe that I, Stuart Reeves, was somebodies back up. That's great.
Albany is a lovely little place. It has lovely bays and coastline. I'm glad I made the effort to come down here. A real little gem.
I'm doing a half day tour of the local sights for $40. We went to the Gap and the Natural Bridge and other spectacular rock formations. Frenchmans Bay is lovely. I did a tour round the old Whaling Station, which is now a museum for $14. This was the last whaling station in Oz to close in 1978. It's pretty gruesome what they used to do to these magnificent creatures, but it's a very good museum. On the way back we stopped at the Wind Farm and Stoney Hill for a spot of Whale Watching.
My Dad cracks me up. He sent me an email to say that I'll have to cut back on my drinking when they come out to Singapore. Yeah Right! For those who know my parents, know they are perfectly capable of knocking back a few sherbets themselves.
Here's his quote:-
"Pity you will have to cut down on the drinking when your Mum & Dad are with you. Tiger is rubbish anyway! Make you sing though! As I remember "Far away places", "A troopship was leaving Bombay" and "I'd like to get you on a slow boat to China" , "See the Pyramids along the Nile", and many others."
One problem Dad, I don't know any of those songs.
Happy Anniversary Mum and Dad! Is it really 30 years.
Had a bit of thought today. Lone coach journeys tend to do that to me. Todays question is :- What is the Meaning of Life? Answers on a postcard, comments, e mail or text message.
The reason I ask is that i know my Dad is going to ask me what my plans are when I see him next week. Not in a bad way, but just coz he's a concerned parent and thats what he does and I suppose he cares too. I'm not sure what my answer would be, apart from I want to be happy. There just seems so many things that I just can't control. It all leads to another question :- What makes you happy?
I was just thinking back to my little Purple Pixie friend Nicola. I first spotted her in a night club in Darwin. She was with her friends and they were putting glow sticks all over the place. I was with a group of her male acquaintances and was pillaging the glow sticks from said places. We never spoke to each other. When I reminded her of the night she recalled me, but thought I was just some random drunk guy. She did confirm that her friend, Coleen, pointed me out as her backup, in case her fella turned up. He did turn up, but can you believe that I, Stuart Reeves, was somebodies back up. That's great.
Albany is a lovely little place. It has lovely bays and coastline. I'm glad I made the effort to come down here. A real little gem.
I'm doing a half day tour of the local sights for $40. We went to the Gap and the Natural Bridge and other spectacular rock formations. Frenchmans Bay is lovely. I did a tour round the old Whaling Station, which is now a museum for $14. This was the last whaling station in Oz to close in 1978. It's pretty gruesome what they used to do to these magnificent creatures, but it's a very good museum. On the way back we stopped at the Wind Farm and Stoney Hill for a spot of Whale Watching.
My Dad cracks me up. He sent me an email to say that I'll have to cut back on my drinking when they come out to Singapore. Yeah Right! For those who know my parents, know they are perfectly capable of knocking back a few sherbets themselves.
Here's his quote:-
"Pity you will have to cut down on the drinking when your Mum & Dad are with you. Tiger is rubbish anyway! Make you sing though! As I remember "Far away places", "A troopship was leaving Bombay" and "I'd like to get you on a slow boat to China" , "See the Pyramids along the Nile", and many others."
One problem Dad, I don't know any of those songs.
Tuesday 27th July 2004 - Day 317/365 - Perth, Western Australia to Albany, Western Australia.
Hey Milky, little tip - Try not to break any legs today!
I'm off to see a friend today that I haven't seen since I was 14 and he was my next door neighbour in Herford. I was told he was in Perth. Off course being in Perth in Australia means that he's a 5 hour coach journey from Perth. Anyway it was good to see him. He's grown a bit from the boy that i used to pick on. He's about twice my height now.
Hey Milky, little tip - Try not to break any legs today!
I'm off to see a friend today that I haven't seen since I was 14 and he was my next door neighbour in Herford. I was told he was in Perth. Off course being in Perth in Australia means that he's a 5 hour coach journey from Perth. Anyway it was good to see him. He's grown a bit from the boy that i used to pick on. He's about twice my height now.
Monday 26th July 2004 - Day 316/365 - Northampton, Western Australia to Perth, Western Australia.
Visited a very interesting place Hutt River Province today. It's actually a principality inside of Oz. During a dispute with the government over the amount of wheat his farm could produce he declared his independance from Oz and became Prince Leonard of Hutt River on 21st April 1970. Now he pays no taxes and can produce as much grain as he likes. Many people have tried to follow suit, but the legal loop hole has now been closed.
Over the years he has declared war on Oz in an attempt to be recognized by the UN as a Kingdom, so he can become King. So far he is undefeated. I guess the fear of Hutt River Armed Forces put Oz off. Originally the Army only consisted of a few farmers with tractors and the Air Force of 1 crop duster. However recently a Hutt River citizen, bought 8 ferrett tanks. These are currently based in Las Vegas.
At the Hutt River post office we had our passports stamped. You can also buy citizenship for $250 and it's currently at 13,000, although most of those live in other countries. It's all legit, you get a passport and everything. Don't go thinking this is a small place. It's 58 times the size of Monaco or the same size as Hong Kong. They have ambassadors all over the world, a chief of police and a commander of the armed forces (for what it's worth).
Some may consider the 79 year old Prince Leonard a bit eccentric, which he no doubt is, but he's also very intelligent.
Next time youre asked how many countries there are on the island of Australisia, the answer is 2.
Visited a very interesting place Hutt River Province today. It's actually a principality inside of Oz. During a dispute with the government over the amount of wheat his farm could produce he declared his independance from Oz and became Prince Leonard of Hutt River on 21st April 1970. Now he pays no taxes and can produce as much grain as he likes. Many people have tried to follow suit, but the legal loop hole has now been closed.
Over the years he has declared war on Oz in an attempt to be recognized by the UN as a Kingdom, so he can become King. So far he is undefeated. I guess the fear of Hutt River Armed Forces put Oz off. Originally the Army only consisted of a few farmers with tractors and the Air Force of 1 crop duster. However recently a Hutt River citizen, bought 8 ferrett tanks. These are currently based in Las Vegas.
At the Hutt River post office we had our passports stamped. You can also buy citizenship for $250 and it's currently at 13,000, although most of those live in other countries. It's all legit, you get a passport and everything. Don't go thinking this is a small place. It's 58 times the size of Monaco or the same size as Hong Kong. They have ambassadors all over the world, a chief of police and a commander of the armed forces (for what it's worth).
Some may consider the 79 year old Prince Leonard a bit eccentric, which he no doubt is, but he's also very intelligent.
Next time youre asked how many countries there are on the island of Australisia, the answer is 2.
Sunday 25th July 2004 - Day 315/365 - Denham, Western Australia to Northampton, Western Australia.
Off to see the dolphins at Monkey Mia in the morning. For many years the Dolphins have been following the fishing boats into the beach, in the knowledge that there is a feed on the way. They still come in now, but it's become more of a tourist attraction.
On the way back we stopped at Eagle Bluff for Shark and Ray spotting and then to the Stromatolites. It's thanks to these "farty rocks" that our atmosphere is the way it is today. Stromatolites have been on earth since the start of time and are responsible for creating oxygen in the air that we breathe and to that extent created the world as we know it today. The role of Stromatolites has been taken over by trees and photosynthesis and it's rare to see living examples nowadays. They're are pretty unremarkable to look at, but it's amazing when you think about them.
We started the trek south towards and stayed overnight in a farmstay in Northampton. Kangaroo curry. Yum!
Off to see the dolphins at Monkey Mia in the morning. For many years the Dolphins have been following the fishing boats into the beach, in the knowledge that there is a feed on the way. They still come in now, but it's become more of a tourist attraction.
On the way back we stopped at Eagle Bluff for Shark and Ray spotting and then to the Stromatolites. It's thanks to these "farty rocks" that our atmosphere is the way it is today. Stromatolites have been on earth since the start of time and are responsible for creating oxygen in the air that we breathe and to that extent created the world as we know it today. The role of Stromatolites has been taken over by trees and photosynthesis and it's rare to see living examples nowadays. They're are pretty unremarkable to look at, but it's amazing when you think about them.
We started the trek south towards and stayed overnight in a farmstay in Northampton. Kangaroo curry. Yum!
More Photos
Wednesday, July 28, 2004
Some of the finest double entendres on British TV & Radio : (Sorry Dad, I'm sure you don't get most of them, but best not show them to Mum)
MICHAEL Buerk watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: "They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts."
Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: "Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself."
MIKE Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports: "Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets."
JACK Burnicle was talking about Colin Edwards' tyre choice on World Superbike racing: "Colin had a hard on in practice earlier, and I bet he wished he had a hard on now."
Chris Tarrant discussing the first Millionaire winner Judith Keppel on This Morning: "She was practising fastest finger first by herself in bed last night."
WINNING Post's Stewart Machin commentating on jockey Tony McCoy's formidable lead: "Tony has a quick look between his legs and likes what he sees."
ROSS King discussing relays with champion runner Phil Redmond "Well Phil, tell us about your amazing third leg."
CRICKETER Neil Fairbrother hit a single during a Durham v Lancashire match,inspiring Bobby Simpson to observe: "With his lovely soft hands he just tossed it off."
CLAIR Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said:"There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this."
JAMES Allen interviewing Ralf Schumacher at a Grand Prix, asked:"What does it feel like being rammed up the backside by Barrichello?"
STEVE Ryder covering the US Masters: "Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69."
THE new stand at Doncaster race course took Brough Scott's breath away..."My word," he said. "Look at that magnificent erection."
WILLIE Carson was telling Claire Balding how jockeys prepare for a big race when he said: "They usually have four or five dreams a night about coming from different positions."
CARENZA Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on Time Team Live said: "You'd eat beaver if you could get it."
A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, "So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!
US PGA Commentator - "One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them .... Oh my god!!!!! What have I just said?!!!!"
Metro Radio - "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."
Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - "Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew."
Ted Walsh- Horse Racing Commentator - "This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother."
New Zealand Rugby Commentator - "Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him."
Pat Glenn- Weightlifting commentator - "And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!"
MICHAEL Buerk watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: "They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts."
Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: "Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself."
MIKE Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports: "Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets."
JACK Burnicle was talking about Colin Edwards' tyre choice on World Superbike racing: "Colin had a hard on in practice earlier, and I bet he wished he had a hard on now."
Chris Tarrant discussing the first Millionaire winner Judith Keppel on This Morning: "She was practising fastest finger first by herself in bed last night."
WINNING Post's Stewart Machin commentating on jockey Tony McCoy's formidable lead: "Tony has a quick look between his legs and likes what he sees."
ROSS King discussing relays with champion runner Phil Redmond "Well Phil, tell us about your amazing third leg."
CRICKETER Neil Fairbrother hit a single during a Durham v Lancashire match,inspiring Bobby Simpson to observe: "With his lovely soft hands he just tossed it off."
CLAIR Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said:"There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this."
JAMES Allen interviewing Ralf Schumacher at a Grand Prix, asked:"What does it feel like being rammed up the backside by Barrichello?"
STEVE Ryder covering the US Masters: "Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69."
THE new stand at Doncaster race course took Brough Scott's breath away..."My word," he said. "Look at that magnificent erection."
WILLIE Carson was telling Claire Balding how jockeys prepare for a big race when he said: "They usually have four or five dreams a night about coming from different positions."
CARENZA Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on Time Team Live said: "You'd eat beaver if you could get it."
A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, "So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!
US PGA Commentator - "One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them .... Oh my god!!!!! What have I just said?!!!!"
Metro Radio - "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."
Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - "Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew."
Ted Walsh- Horse Racing Commentator - "This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother."
New Zealand Rugby Commentator - "Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him."
Pat Glenn- Weightlifting commentator - "And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!"
Monday, July 26, 2004
Saturday 24th July 2004 - Day 314/365 - Kalbarri, Western Australia to Denham, Western Australia.
Gorges
We spent the morning at the Kalbarri gorge. I'd actually reckon it's more beautiful than Katherine Gorge. We abseiled down the Z Bend. It was only 25 metres, but i haven't abseiled since I was at school. It was very cool. It's amazing what a bit of adrenalin can do for your confidence. If they'd have had a bungy jump, then I'd have done that, although I probably wouldn't have scuba dived.
We then hiked up to Natures Window for some great photo opps and saw a Thorny devil. A Thorny Devil is offically the coolest creature in the world. It may look viscious, but it only eats ants. If only this chuffing computer could read my camera then, you could see what I was talking about. You'll have to wait.
We ended the day at Shark Bay, which is World Heritage listed for a number of reasons. We stopped at Shell Beach, which due to the high salt content means that there is high population of cockles living in these here waters. Also due to the water there are few predators. This has created a 115km shell beach which is 10m deep.
We stayed in the hostel in Denham and spent most of the night in the most westerly pub in Mainland Australia. Any excuse for a drink.
Gorges
We spent the morning at the Kalbarri gorge. I'd actually reckon it's more beautiful than Katherine Gorge. We abseiled down the Z Bend. It was only 25 metres, but i haven't abseiled since I was at school. It was very cool. It's amazing what a bit of adrenalin can do for your confidence. If they'd have had a bungy jump, then I'd have done that, although I probably wouldn't have scuba dived.
We then hiked up to Natures Window for some great photo opps and saw a Thorny devil. A Thorny Devil is offically the coolest creature in the world. It may look viscious, but it only eats ants. If only this chuffing computer could read my camera then, you could see what I was talking about. You'll have to wait.
We ended the day at Shark Bay, which is World Heritage listed for a number of reasons. We stopped at Shell Beach, which due to the high salt content means that there is high population of cockles living in these here waters. Also due to the water there are few predators. This has created a 115km shell beach which is 10m deep.
We stayed in the hostel in Denham and spent most of the night in the most westerly pub in Mainland Australia. Any excuse for a drink.
Sunday, July 25, 2004
Friday 23rd July 2004 - Day 313/365 - Perth, Western Australia to Kalbarri, Western Australia.
Am I looking forward to coming home.
I was asked yesterday if I'm looking forward to coming home. The truth is it doesn't frighten me. I've had an absolutely sensational year. It's been a million times better than I could ever have imagined. I feel a bit a row boat on a pond. "Come in no 29 your time is up." This year I've confronted and defeated so many of my fears. There's no doubt in my mind that this is the year in which I have developed more as a person than in any other. I'm also realistic enough to know that it can't go on forever. I also know that if I hate it, I can always leave again.
I'm looking forward to watching a game of football at Calthorpe Park, having a beer and a game of pool in the Links and continuing the relationships with the friends that I've found over this year. I now know how important friends can be. I'm exciting about taking on the challenges that I've set for myself when I get back, like a new job, studying for a degree, running the marathon and taking my coaching course. I'll write more about my goals as I get closer to home.
That's how I see my blog developing. I can set my goals and track how I get on in achieving them.
I watched Charmed for the first time ever last night, well the beginning of it anyway. It's nice to hear that they use a Smiths tune as the theme, even if they have mutilated it.
Also on the travel show the Getaway they had a guy who was touring around Britain. It made me smile. Only we can be that mad. We live in a wonderful country, there's just too many of us and too little of it.
On another tour today. This time a 4 day return to Monkey Mia. We saw some wild Emu on the road up to Nambung National Park. The National park is home to the Pinnacles. They were formed 300 million years ago when they were part of the ocean be. Eventually the waters receded and the crust was covered with vegetation which cracked the crust in search of water. The vegetation was then destroyed in a bush fire and now leave the pinnacles. Basically now it's a desert with lots of phallic looking rocks. They were made famous when Billy Connelly ran naked round them during his tour of Oz. I remained fully clothed, it was bloody chilly.
At this stage I am utterly bored with Traveller conversation. If I have to say "well I've been away for 10 months now. I spent 4.5 months in North America, 2 weeks in Hawaii, 1 week in Fiji, 2 months in NZ and now 3 months in Oz. I'm off to South East Asia for 6 weeks now, before flying home to face reality." 1 more time, then I think I might do something very naughty. Today I've given everyone the short shrift, trying to ignore them and read my book. Of course it may have something to do with the fact that I haven't had a drink in 2 days.
My mood got better when we partook in a spot of sandboarding. You know the drill, find a sand dune, walk to the top, sit on a wooden board, slide down said dune and fall off at the end. Good fun, except for the walking back up the dune bit.
We spent the night in a hostel in Kalbarri, which is good, because I don't think I could face anymore cold mornings in the outdoors.
Am I looking forward to coming home.
I was asked yesterday if I'm looking forward to coming home. The truth is it doesn't frighten me. I've had an absolutely sensational year. It's been a million times better than I could ever have imagined. I feel a bit a row boat on a pond. "Come in no 29 your time is up." This year I've confronted and defeated so many of my fears. There's no doubt in my mind that this is the year in which I have developed more as a person than in any other. I'm also realistic enough to know that it can't go on forever. I also know that if I hate it, I can always leave again.
I'm looking forward to watching a game of football at Calthorpe Park, having a beer and a game of pool in the Links and continuing the relationships with the friends that I've found over this year. I now know how important friends can be. I'm exciting about taking on the challenges that I've set for myself when I get back, like a new job, studying for a degree, running the marathon and taking my coaching course. I'll write more about my goals as I get closer to home.
That's how I see my blog developing. I can set my goals and track how I get on in achieving them.
I watched Charmed for the first time ever last night, well the beginning of it anyway. It's nice to hear that they use a Smiths tune as the theme, even if they have mutilated it.
Also on the travel show the Getaway they had a guy who was touring around Britain. It made me smile. Only we can be that mad. We live in a wonderful country, there's just too many of us and too little of it.
On another tour today. This time a 4 day return to Monkey Mia. We saw some wild Emu on the road up to Nambung National Park. The National park is home to the Pinnacles. They were formed 300 million years ago when they were part of the ocean be. Eventually the waters receded and the crust was covered with vegetation which cracked the crust in search of water. The vegetation was then destroyed in a bush fire and now leave the pinnacles. Basically now it's a desert with lots of phallic looking rocks. They were made famous when Billy Connelly ran naked round them during his tour of Oz. I remained fully clothed, it was bloody chilly.
At this stage I am utterly bored with Traveller conversation. If I have to say "well I've been away for 10 months now. I spent 4.5 months in North America, 2 weeks in Hawaii, 1 week in Fiji, 2 months in NZ and now 3 months in Oz. I'm off to South East Asia for 6 weeks now, before flying home to face reality." 1 more time, then I think I might do something very naughty. Today I've given everyone the short shrift, trying to ignore them and read my book. Of course it may have something to do with the fact that I haven't had a drink in 2 days.
My mood got better when we partook in a spot of sandboarding. You know the drill, find a sand dune, walk to the top, sit on a wooden board, slide down said dune and fall off at the end. Good fun, except for the walking back up the dune bit.
We spent the night in a hostel in Kalbarri, which is good, because I don't think I could face anymore cold mornings in the outdoors.
Thursday, July 22, 2004
Thursday 22nd July 2004 - Day 312/365 - Perth, Western Australia.
Perth is quite a funky city. Especially around the Northbridge area which is where the YHA is.
Went a whole day yesterday without touching Alcohol. I thought about it, but resisted the urge.
I've changed my flight home. Only by one day. I'll now be arriving at 05.30 on Tuesday 14th September. My reasoning is that now I can watch Fleet play Bashley in the evening. I think you should all come to game to welcome me back. The bars got beer and we could double the attendance.
Perth is quite a funky city. Especially around the Northbridge area which is where the YHA is.
Went a whole day yesterday without touching Alcohol. I thought about it, but resisted the urge.
I've changed my flight home. Only by one day. I'll now be arriving at 05.30 on Tuesday 14th September. My reasoning is that now I can watch Fleet play Bashley in the evening. I think you should all come to game to welcome me back. The bars got beer and we could double the attendance.
Wednesday 21st July 2004 - Day 311/366 - Alice Springs, Northern Territory to Perth, Western Australia.
Had a 9.10 flight to Perth. Looking forward to knowing no one and being anonymous for a while, so I can chill and catch up with blog and E Mails.
Fleet had there second Pre season friendly last night. Can't believe how quickly it's come around. I'm looking forward to getting back there to watch. I feel so distant.
On the bus to the Airport I found my mind wandering to what the first few days back at home are going to be like. There's so many people I want to see and speak to.
The little plane coped with the flight very well, until we got to Perth. We got a great aerial view of the Rock. Perth is windy and rainy and the pilot warned us that we were low on fuel, the visibility was poor and that if he can't see the runway he may have to carry out a missed approach procedure. Great with no fuel. As it turned out, he was able to land the thing, despite very serious buffeting from the wind. It was actually the smoothest landing I've ever had.
So much for not knowing anyone. I met Jodi, another Canadian from my Kakadu trip on the plane. We're gonna do beer.
With the wind and the rain, Perth is much warmer than Alice.
Having been out the elements for a few weeks my lips are all cracked and my skin all dry. I look a right picture.
As I close in on home the time difference is not 7 hours.
Had a 9.10 flight to Perth. Looking forward to knowing no one and being anonymous for a while, so I can chill and catch up with blog and E Mails.
Fleet had there second Pre season friendly last night. Can't believe how quickly it's come around. I'm looking forward to getting back there to watch. I feel so distant.
On the bus to the Airport I found my mind wandering to what the first few days back at home are going to be like. There's so many people I want to see and speak to.
The little plane coped with the flight very well, until we got to Perth. We got a great aerial view of the Rock. Perth is windy and rainy and the pilot warned us that we were low on fuel, the visibility was poor and that if he can't see the runway he may have to carry out a missed approach procedure. Great with no fuel. As it turned out, he was able to land the thing, despite very serious buffeting from the wind. It was actually the smoothest landing I've ever had.
So much for not knowing anyone. I met Jodi, another Canadian from my Kakadu trip on the plane. We're gonna do beer.
With the wind and the rain, Perth is much warmer than Alice.
Having been out the elements for a few weeks my lips are all cracked and my skin all dry. I look a right picture.
As I close in on home the time difference is not 7 hours.
Tuesday 20th July 2004 - Day 310/366 - Yulara, Northern Territory to Alice Springs, Northern Territory.
I'm so glad that last night was my last night camping out in thes temperatures. As much fun as it's been it's bloody freezing in the morning and for much of the day. I could happily stay in my cosy swag all day, but no we've got to get up to watch another chuffing sunrise. Todays sunrise was at Mount Connor (Fooluru).
This group was even stranger than the last. The worst was the family of 4 who were Irish, but lived in Nepal. The Dad was quiet coz the wife was very loud. The daughter didn't partake in anything, she just sat in the van and revised. You're on holiday. You're at Ayres Rock. Appreciate how lucky you are. Stuff the exams. The boy was 14, looked 10, knew everything and couldn't do any of the walks because he was a fat knacker. I voted for putting him on the fire and feeding us all for a while. By the end of the trip everyone was in a agreement. We had 3 Austrians and a Dutchy who couldn't speak english. There was a very annoying Polish Canadian. There was a young Brit from Portsmouth who also knew everything. There was an older Brit from Luton who was nice, but not a drinker and an early to bedder. An Irish girl who was the same. I had the 3 Canadians again also the Jap girl too. Caroline and Jamie were cool, they shared with me drinking round the campfire. Billy was our guide who was very thorough, but sadly didn't drink. Good luck with the Phd.
We were back in Alice for lunch and I met Heike and Nicola for a drink. Heike is such good value for a German. She has real problems with 'V' and 'W'. She comes up with the immortal lines that 'I have just come from Darvin.' and 'I have a verk wisa.' and 'They caught a Wirus'. We were in Bojangles having a drink and they give out free Monkey nuts. Basically you just put all the used shells on the floor, it's that type of place. Heike was disgusted at that 'Nein, Stuart you can not do that.' She is so deliberate in everything she says. Also I'll have another place to stay when I go to Germany for the 2006 World Cup.
I had a Kangaroo Steak for dinner. It was lovely. Looks just like beef, but doesn't have the flavour.
My planned early night, didn't end very early and regrettfully finished with Drambuie. Looking forward to tomorrows morning flight.
I really can't remember the last day that I didn't have a drink.
I've met some great people, seen some fantastic places and had a few laughs along the way.
I'm so glad that last night was my last night camping out in thes temperatures. As much fun as it's been it's bloody freezing in the morning and for much of the day. I could happily stay in my cosy swag all day, but no we've got to get up to watch another chuffing sunrise. Todays sunrise was at Mount Connor (Fooluru).
This group was even stranger than the last. The worst was the family of 4 who were Irish, but lived in Nepal. The Dad was quiet coz the wife was very loud. The daughter didn't partake in anything, she just sat in the van and revised. You're on holiday. You're at Ayres Rock. Appreciate how lucky you are. Stuff the exams. The boy was 14, looked 10, knew everything and couldn't do any of the walks because he was a fat knacker. I voted for putting him on the fire and feeding us all for a while. By the end of the trip everyone was in a agreement. We had 3 Austrians and a Dutchy who couldn't speak english. There was a very annoying Polish Canadian. There was a young Brit from Portsmouth who also knew everything. There was an older Brit from Luton who was nice, but not a drinker and an early to bedder. An Irish girl who was the same. I had the 3 Canadians again also the Jap girl too. Caroline and Jamie were cool, they shared with me drinking round the campfire. Billy was our guide who was very thorough, but sadly didn't drink. Good luck with the Phd.
We were back in Alice for lunch and I met Heike and Nicola for a drink. Heike is such good value for a German. She has real problems with 'V' and 'W'. She comes up with the immortal lines that 'I have just come from Darvin.' and 'I have a verk wisa.' and 'They caught a Wirus'. We were in Bojangles having a drink and they give out free Monkey nuts. Basically you just put all the used shells on the floor, it's that type of place. Heike was disgusted at that 'Nein, Stuart you can not do that.' She is so deliberate in everything she says. Also I'll have another place to stay when I go to Germany for the 2006 World Cup.
I had a Kangaroo Steak for dinner. It was lovely. Looks just like beef, but doesn't have the flavour.
My planned early night, didn't end very early and regrettfully finished with Drambuie. Looking forward to tomorrows morning flight.
I really can't remember the last day that I didn't have a drink.
I've met some great people, seen some fantastic places and had a few laughs along the way.
Monday 19th July 2004 - Day 309/366 - Yulara, Northern Territory.
We were up in time to watch the sun rise on Uluru. It's special, I'll give it that, when the Rock glows.
I wasn't going to climb the rock out of respect for the aborigines, however Matt reckoned I should do it whilst it's still open. The climb was actually closed due to strong winds so we had to do the 9.4 km base walk. By the time we were back the climb had been opened. We only had an hour. The climb is far harder than I imagined. It's a real calf buster, very steep and windy. I don't mind admitting it was a little scarey. The chain starts a little way up the surface and surface is all smooth so it's quite a chore to even get to the chain. We managed to get as far as the top of the chain before the climb was closed again. We'd only made it as far as a third of the way up the rock.
After lunch we tackled the 7.4km trip around the Valley of the Winds in the Olgas, or Kata Tjutu.
We watched the sunset at the rock. It's another great moment if only there were less people there to watch it.
We were up in time to watch the sun rise on Uluru. It's special, I'll give it that, when the Rock glows.
I wasn't going to climb the rock out of respect for the aborigines, however Matt reckoned I should do it whilst it's still open. The climb was actually closed due to strong winds so we had to do the 9.4 km base walk. By the time we were back the climb had been opened. We only had an hour. The climb is far harder than I imagined. It's a real calf buster, very steep and windy. I don't mind admitting it was a little scarey. The chain starts a little way up the surface and surface is all smooth so it's quite a chore to even get to the chain. We managed to get as far as the top of the chain before the climb was closed again. We'd only made it as far as a third of the way up the rock.
After lunch we tackled the 7.4km trip around the Valley of the Winds in the Olgas, or Kata Tjutu.
We watched the sunset at the rock. It's another great moment if only there were less people there to watch it.
More Photos
Bloo and Charlie from Crocodile Dundee.
The Devils Marbles (only 2 of them)
Nicola and Heike
The Devils Marbles (only 2 of them)
Nicola and Matt
Nicola and Heike
Live in a Roadhouse miles from you, Heike, Nicola and Liz. The Bar Top Dancers
Matt (would you let this man drive your bus?)
Matty, The dog and Nicola
Heike, Matt and Nicola
A Trucker getting an eyeful
Bloo and the Dog
The Gang, some trucker, Liz, Matt, Nicola and Heike
Not my Proudest Moment
The trucker took a shine to Matt
The Turtle
An Alien Landing Site
Bloo and Nicola
Diane and Rachel
Matty and Liz
Heike and Nicola
Diane
Vicky
Vicky, Liz, Matty (in traditonal pose), Nicola and Rachel
Matt and Diane
Liz, Matt, Rachel and Heike
Camel Safari
Dinky the Singing Dingo
Rainbow Valley
Swag
Kings Canyon
Blowout
Fooluru
The start of the climb.
Before
After
It was cold
Uluru from the plane
The Olgas
Bloo in the Olgas
The Red Centre Gang
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