Today I'm off on a hostel arranged trip to Tijuana, Mexico. It cost $6 and then $5 for the trolley ticket. It takes about 30 minutes to get to the border town. There are no guards on the crossing to get into Mexico and I a bit gutted that I don't get a stamp in my passport. That was one of my main reasons for coming here.
We are greeted by numerous street traders and kid's offering all sorts of wares that I don't want. The shopkeepers are all trying to lure you into their shops. The majority of the shops are pharmacies. You can buy any drugs you want and you don't need a perscription. There are also lots of seedy little strip clubs. 'Hey teenagers. We make you men.' the guys outside say. I'm flattered he thinks I'm a teenager.
We went to a little Mexican bar for lunch. Remember if your paying more than a dollar for Corona's then you've been done. Everything is paid for in US dollars. In that way this place reminds me of when I went to Yugoslavia in the early 90's. We drank the bar dry of Corona's, but it's okay because the tequila man comes round to pour it straight down your throat. God I hate that stuff, but it's $2 for as much as you can drink. I have found a new talent.
For some reason in Tijuana they feel the need to paint stripes on donkeys to make them look like zebra's. No one could give me a satisfactory explanation as to why they do this. It's very strange.
After lunch the shoppers and the drinkers split up. I've got no room left in my rucksack so I went with the 9 drinkers. We were in search of dollar Corona's. We went in a few of the dodgy strip bars (Mx included) as they were free and beer was cheap. The first bar strippers stayed distinctly fully dressed. In the second bar we demanded to see more flesh. We got it, she had cellulite popping out all over the place, it almost put me off my beer. It's okay though, I don't want anyone to get upset with me for visiting a strip bar, because we had Mx with us the whole time as our responsible adult. She made me go into these places. There's no stopping that girl when she's had a margarita.
Tijuana really is a hole. If it's an advert for Mexico then it's not a very good one, but at least I've been. I'd never go to Tijuana on my own and I'd definitely never leave the main strip.
Right, so back to America, the land of the free and the home of expensive beers. As we'd had a taste for the beer we decided to kick the arse out of it so we went to the 'Kansas City BBQ'. This is also known as the 'Top Gun Bar' as it is where the Goose singing 'Great Balls of Fire' scene was filmed. It really is a grotty little hole and to prove how much we had to drink we all bought the $12 T shirts. The 'Top Gun Bar' was so grotty that it made Hooters appear classy. Hooter's really is a family restaurant. It has a kids menu. I know if I had my time again and my parents asked me where I'd like to go for my 13th birthday party, I'd say Hooters every time.
