Friday 2nd April 2004, Day 202/366 - Wellington, New Zealand.

Its really hard for the last week I've tried to keep myself active so I don't spend too much time thinking about a certain issue. It's been very tiring, but I've been able to answer some questions that I've never even asked myself before. It may sound strange but I've never actually sat down and asked myself like 'What sort of person am i?' and 'What do I like?'. To be honest the certain issue keeps rearing it's ugly head when my mind begins to wander and I can't help but feel a tinge of sorrow, regret and hurt even though I know it's all for the best. The answer to what to do for the best from here still eludes me.

I find myself not making an effort to talk to people again and not because I've got no self confidence this time. I guess it's just a defence mechanism.

Eventually got my refund back for the ferry. Not bad considering I had no documents and they spelt my name REED on the booking. The guy couldn't have been more helpful. I can't help but think that in England they would have told me where to go.

Went and watched 'The Passion of the Christ'. Still a bit confused about the whole religion thing, but the film kept my interest the whole time. Poor Guy. I wonder if it was true, but I guess that depends on your belief's. Go and see it and make your own mind up.

Very excited about the Smiths gig tonight. www.salfordladsclub.com I first got into the Smiths when I was at school when there depressing music seemed to reflect my moods of the time. I'm no music guru by any stretch of the imagination, but with Morrissey's lyrics and the guitar of Johnny Marr I just loved everything that they did. I don't tend to like certain bands, I'm more of a favorite songs person. I didn't listen to the Smiths for years after I left school, but I did bring a compilation with me for old times sake.