Merry Christmas to you and yours.
What was I doing this time last year. A question I've asked myself on numerous occasions so far this year and now it seems a good time to ask it again. This time last year I was sat at my Mum and Dad's house as had been the protocol for the previous umpteen years. The major difference last year being that we were down 2 on our numbers. My Gran had passed away and Nikki had done a bunk. To be honest it felt more than a little strange. It's mainly for that reason that my parents have come to meet me in San Francisco as they didn't want to see the traditional lunch numbers depleted further. I can't deny it, it's nice to have them here.
We took a walk up to the Nob Hill area of town, because my mum wanted to see the Victorian houses. We should have known better. If you want to see Victorian houses stay in England.
On a Christmas morning the main people on the streets are the homeless. At least they are slightly more imaginative here. A couple of the better ones were. 'Please spare some change. My wife has been kidnapped and I need 98c for the ransom' or a guy sat in a trash can/rubbish bin with a sign round his neck saying 'White Trash'.
Christmas day doesn't change much in the US. The public transport still runs and there's more people about as the day goes on. Most of the major shops are closed (Virgin Megastore isn't), but some of the smaller ones are open. It's also a big day for cinema releases. Most of the showings are sold out, but that's where we headed.
My Mum and Dad aren’t big on the movies. The last time they went to the cinema was to take me to see 'ET' when it was first released in Farnham. I can't even remember there being a cinema in Farnham.
My Dad did confess to watching T3 on the flight over. His comments were 'Nonsense' and 'Who thinks up these scripts?' That's sacrilege round here, doesn't he realise who the governor is in these here parts.
We went to watch 'Calendar Girls' based on the fact that this was the only film that either of them had heard of (one of Mum's friends had seen it). It was actually very funny and we all enjoyed it.
Mx joined us for Christmas lunch at 6.00pm???? Weird, but it was cool because my Mum had brought over mince pies and crackers, so we got to wear funny hats . The Americans thought this most amusing, but what do we care. The meal was okay. Not sure about mashed potatoes instead of roast and pumpkin cheesecake instead of Xmas pudding.
The jokes were crap as ever.
Where does a dog go when he loses his tail? - A re-tailers
How do you make gold soup? - Put 24 carrots in it.
What is pink, wobbly and flies? - a jelly-copter
Who invented fire? - Oh some bright spark
What are brown and sneak around the kitchen at Christmas? - mince spies
What do cats rest their heads on in bed? - Caterpillars
Now all we need is 'Only Fools and Horses' and Alka Seltzer.
