Thursday 29th January 2004, Day 138/273 - Vancouver, Canada.

Disclaimer

The following views are those of Bloobuoy ©. They are not meant to upset anyone. If you are reading them then you are a friend of mine already and nothing else should matter.

Bloo's list of 10 things you must do in America. If you don't agree with them, then tough. Go make your own list. The list is in no particular order. It's hard to rank them as they are all on the list for different reasons.

1. Niagara Falls (from the canadian side)
2. The Everglades (take an air boat ride and hold a 'gator)
3. Las Vegas (but don't drink white russians)
4. The Grand Canyon (alright then this would be number 1)
5. Any sporting event (don't forget to take a book for all the time outs)
6. Hooters (It's got a kid's menu)
7. Skiing/Snowboarding (take extra padding)
8. Disneyworld (take a picnic)
9. The drive up the Pacific Coast Highway (make sure you've got enough gas)
10. Wal-Mart (to see the fat people and the gun counter).

So there it is America's 10 best sites. I haven't done the 10 worst things as even the bad things have been good experiences, but only because I survived the Greyhound and Detroit.


Bloo's guide to American Cities

New York - Go for a long weekend shopping and sightseeing. That should do it.
Boston - Nice place to go.
Montreal - French
Toronto - I'd like to go back and spend more time.
Niagara Falls - Must see.
Cleveland - Wide empty streets. Stay a day and see the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
Detroit - Go see the Motown Hall of Fame, but stay across the water in Windsor, Ontario. Seriously.
Chicago - Very nice, don't forget a warm coat.
Memphis - Lots to see (Civil Rights Museum, Mud Island and Graceland), but really horrible place to be.
Washington - If you like monuments and museums go see.
Charleston - I might go back when I've retired.
Kissimmee - Use the kids as an excuse to go to Disney World.
Everglades - Go see, remember the Mozzie repellent.
Key West - Nice enough, but no different from many resorts.
Miami - Downtown dodgy, South Beach alright, but Venice Beach better.
Atlanta - Go pay homage to MLK and Coca Cola then leave.
Houston - Vast, enjoyed the Johnson Space Centre.
Dallas - Smaller than I expected, but JFK piece interesting.
San Antonio - Riverwalk and the Alamo worth a visit.
San Angelo - Go see Andy H. Tell him I sent you. He needs a friend.
Phoenix - I loved it, not sure why. Maybe it was the friendly people.
Las Vegas - An absolute must. Make sure you don't miss a trip to the canyon.
San Diego - All Top Gun and Tijuana. Very nice too.
Hollywood - LA is huge, but spend a few days in Hollywood, see the stars, Santa Monica, Venice Beach, Bel Air, Rodeo Drive, etc.
San Francisco - Shame it was raining all the time, but Alcatraz was cool.
Denver - Love their sports and good views of the Rockies.
Salt Lake City - Nice and clean, but watch out for mormons.
Sacramento - Maybe Tim will take you snowboarding?
Seattle - Cool place to be.
Portland - Really nice place, limited in tourist sites.
Vancouver - Shame about the weather.

A running theme in every place that I have been to is the homeless and jobless. Very few of the cities are set-up for people without cars, so be prepared to walk or catch the bus with the weirdo's. Most city centres seem to be devoid of people especially at the weekends. They are sectioned into certain districts so very rarely do people, work, live, go out and shop in the same area of town. This limits the character of the places.

Bloo's guide to America.

As time has gone by I've grown very weary of the USA although strangely I've grown fonder of the places that I've travelled to. The turning point for me was travelling through Tex Arse where I felt the change in attitudes was noticeable. I'm not saying the attitudes were better, but just different. The people had more time and were friendlier. The further west you travel the more noticeable the change is. In summary then:-
North East - Too busy
South East - Too many tourists
Middle - Too much of nothing
South West - Too many dreamers
North West - Just about right.

America has been built on the greed of the few at the expense of many. From what I can tell the american dream is to become one of the few so they can forget about the many. If this truly is the best nation in the world then there is not a lot of hope for us. You can see that there is lots of private money and not a lot of public, therefore they only build what enhances the companies and that is why the rail infrastructure and healthcare system (to name 2 things) is so bad and why so many people still live in relative squalor. It is staggering the number of people who have nothing.

It breeds a winning culture. The youngsters are more or less forced to go to university. It's the only way to guarantee your success and an aim to become a mechanic or the like will be looked down upon. Youngsters can't even consider taking a year out before university or even after university as their lifes path is already mapped out. It's for this reason that they are so clueless on world affairs. Lets face it though they must be doing something right as they have built an enormous economy in a relatively short period of time and even in sports they are a force to be reckoned with in any game they play, I mean they have the world champions in baseball and american football.

Throughout America the scenery is stunning and I want to like America but don't. I gave it every opportunity. I met some truly great people and went to some amazing places, but for me there were too many things that spoilt it. The pan handlers, the Starbucks on every corner and the inability of americans in general to see or want to see the whole picture.

There are places that I would go back to, but i think i know in my heart that the only place I'm likely to return to is Las Vegas and that's because there is no other place like it in the world.

Guide to eating in America

Eating is an american passion, but I struggled with it for a long while. Its easy enough to find places but its tough to find anything decent, cheap and with lots of variety. There are plenty of take aways but what else do you expect. In the end I took to eating in bars that all serve reasonable fare but after drinks and the bloody tip get expensive night on night. Oh yeah and everything will be covered in cheese.

Bloo's guide to accommodation

Our introduction to hostels in America couldn't have been much worse than the 4 days we spent in the Jazz on the Park in New York. As the tour has continued the hostels have improved or maybe I've just got used to them. You will find very few foreign travellers in the hostels until you start getting to the west coast destinations like Los Angeles, Vancouver and San Francisco. In other places they tend to be smaller hostels (normally converted houses) that have americans in them from out of state looking to relocate (or on the run). The hostels are normally priced at around $20 for a dorm bed. They can vary in standards, but if you stick to www.hihostels.com you shouldn't go far wrong.

Some cities have few or no hostels at all like Boston, Detroit, Memphis and Dallas. For these places you can find cheap deals at www.hotels.com .You can also use that if you get bored of the hostels. The hotels rooms will normally have 2 double beds in and in some places can be as low as $40 a night.

Guide to american women
Lesbians, every one of them

Wednesday 28th January 2004, Day 137/273 - Vancouver, British Columbia.

People rave about how beautiful Vancouver is. Maybe when it's not covered in clouds. The downtown area is quite sketchy and it's only when you get to Stanley Park that Vancouver begins to reveal its beauty. There are lots of condo's with stunning views no doubt, but they spoil the view for everyone else. The tranquillity of Stanley Park renewed my faith in what people had told me about the city. You can walk round the 10km's shoreline or follow trails through the woods to hollow trees and lakes. Who here has ever seen a black squirrel? I hadn't until i came to Canada, but they have them in Vancouver and in Niagara, but I've never seen them anywhere else.

Tuesday 27th January 2004, Day 136/273 - Vancouver, Britsh Columbia.

Met up with Mx and her boyfriend, Nigel, as they have just returned from snowboarding in Whistler. We had din dins and then went to 'General Motors Place' to watch the ice hockey.

The Vancouver Canucks entertained the Chicago Blackhawks. The Canucks had a great start to the season, but have struggled recently. Ice hockey is the soccer of Canada. The Canadians live for it. The stadium is full with 18,600 fans who witnessed the most underwhelming rendition of the national anthems. He basically just spoke them really quickly. Mind I still haven't worked out why the fans bother coming. They leave at regular intervals for popcorn, hot dogs, beer, nachos, but never during a time out. They then leave 5 minutes before the end of the game to miss the rush, but miss the most exciting bit of the game.

The Canucks made hard work in a 3-2 win.

Bloo guide to American sports.

I've been fortunate enough to watch the four major sports in America in baseball, american football, basketball and ice hockey. I like them all for different reasons, but I also got to see lacrosse which was probably the most entertaining. "Hey, number 13, get                      in                           the                     box." None of them compare to football, but americans don't do football because they can't hold their attention for 45 minutes. They need to be subjected to mindless adverts. Don’t be fooled the games are not difficult to understand. If they were then americans wouldn't get them. They'll try to blind you with meaningless statistics, but once you get the acronyms then they'll make sense. At the end of the day it's down to who scores more. Still got moronic fans who only chant when the PA tells them to or shout "WOOOOO" at the top of their voice so it goes straight through you. Yes the games are boring and they're not really athletes, but it can pass a few hours. They do make them into events that have to been seen.

Monday 26th January 2004, Day 135/273 - Vancouver, British Columbia.

I've had some really weird dreams since I've been away. Unfortunately I don't remember all of them. One I do remember and I have the most frequent is having a wobbly tooth that falls out and being left with a bloody mouth. Last night I had it again, but I even dreamt it as far as realising in my dream that I was dreaming and convincing myself that it really happened. I was sure I had lost my tooth and had bled all over the bed. Obviously when I woke up for real and not just dreaming that I had woken up I still had a full set of dentures, but I took my time checking. It all must mean something.

Did my normal thing of finding the visitor centre, the library etc. There was nothing better to do as it was so miserable. No where looks good in the rain.

I did buy tickets for the ice hockey tomorrow night. I got them half price as that's how they were selling off the single tickets.

Sunday 25th January 2004, Day 134/273 - Portland, Oregon to Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada.

As today was my last trip on continental America i decided to 'go Greyhound' for the last time. Might as well finish up the way I started.

On the way up to the bus terminal I saw a racoon. That's all I can say about that really. Portland was very nice, but just a little lacking in things to do for tourists. It would be a nice place to live.

I caught the 7.40 bus to Seattle and the seats seem positively cramped compared to planes and trains. I could sense it was going to be uncomfortable when the lady in front put here seat back and it touched my nose.

It was like a reunion of all my favourite characters from my Greyhound experience. There were mexicans chatting away and looking very sinister. There were babies crying. There was the wittering woman with no teeth. There was boasting about police records and arrests and gun shot wounds. There was the guy trying to flog stolen goods. There was the guy with his radio on to loud and plenty of other anti social behaviour. We even had a bit of comedy from the bus driver. "Today our cruising altitude will be about 9 inches." Oh how we laughed. A new character for me this time was the young couple travelling around America on an Ameripass. Now I haven't met too many of us travellers en route and these were definitely the first to be doing it with an 18 month old baby and a bongo drum. Mind they did look like they lived in a wig wam. No wonder the kid was crying. He should be playing nintendo or in the road or something.

We arrived in Seattle at 11.00 and I caught the 12.30 to Vancouver. The whole trip cost $47. We were held up at the border but no real dramas. We did leave someone at the crossing because there was something wrong with his visa. That always seems to happen. We eventually arrived in Vancouver at 16.30. There can't be any place with a backdrop like this in the world.

I felt good to be out of America and commercial hell. I feel almost as elated as someone who has just finished a 4.5 month prison sentence. Most of all I'm glad to be done with Greyhound.

I walked to the hostel. For once my legendary sense of direction almost failed me, but they don't make it as easy to find your way round in Canada as they do in America. Here's an idea. Why don't you grid all the roads and name them after numbers?  I eventually worked out where I was going.

The HI Vancouver Central @ 1025 Granville Street is the best I've encountered so far and at $18can a night is a bargain. It's got sturdy bunks beds that don't creek or sag, with bars on so you can't fall out. You even get a duvet. Oh how I miss the simple things. There are individual bathrooms that are clean and have decent tiling.

I needed to do something in the evening and had a choice between the ice hockey and the cinema. The cinema won as it was the cheaper option. I watched Cold Mountain. Jude Law (bit of a dodgy accent) and Nicole Kidman were great, but when Renee Zellweger came on she just lit the whole film up. I predicted the ending pretty early on, but got it wrong so I thought it was a great film.

Bloo's guide to getting around America.

You've basically got 4 options in Greyhound, Amtrak, Flying or car hire.

I'll talk about greyhound first as after travelling over 9,000 miles on them I feel like an expert.

I got the impression when I was at home that the Greyhound would be the romantic way to travel around America. Well forget the chewing gum adverts because it's nothing like that. Over here they are a standing joke among Americans. When you say to an American that you've been travelling Greyhound there next question is "are you alright?" or "and you're not dead?"

The terminals leave a lot to be desired. You're usually limited to vending machine food when you do get a terminal with a café it normally a dodgy 'Travellers Grill'. You can while away the hours on an archaic version of pac man or space invaders. The terminals are usually situated in the centre of the city, but are more often than not in a bad neighbourhood.

The buses are filled with people who can't afford to fly so you'll meet very few fellow travellers on the buses.

There are express routes, but most of the routes will take you indirectly to where you want to go, stopping regularly. You'll get a rest stop every 3-4 hours at a service station and if you're lucky there might be an Arby's there to get something half decent to eat. When you get to the major terminals you will normally have a layover of about an hour, so they can service the bus or in case you need to change buses. The driver will stop at every rail road en route, whether the tracks are still used (they seldom are) and even if you can see for miles and know there is no train coming (there never was).

So if you do decide to buy an Ameripass and go Greyhound around America here's some things to remember.

1. If the route is operated by a different company check at the ticket counter to make sure you don't need to get a valid ticket. On Greyhound buses you just line up and flash your pass and walk on the bus.
2. Get a baggage claim ticket from the ticket counter for every item of baggage that you are storing underneath the bus.
3. The seats get uncomfortable on long journeys especially overnight so you might want to take a pillow.
4. You will need to take something to make notes with.
5. Take something to do. You'll be very lucky if they show a film.

The greyhound is a very cheap and reliable way of getting around. It has by far the most coverage of any of the public transport. The only time I was ever late was when I had to cross a border. Having originally thought it was a good way to travel around America I eventually got my mind free and noticed the other passengers. I now question that. Its an experience I wouldn't have missed. For me there was something about the coaches that got my mind flowing. I would definitely do it again if I needed to clear my mind.

Amtrak isn't a bad way to travel. It is slightly more expensive than the greyhound, but painfully slow. The coverage isn't that good either. For example you can't get to Las Vegas, San Francisco or Phoenix direct on the train although they do lay on buses. When the cities are serviced the schedule is very infrequent. You get a slightly higher class of clientelle.

Flying is the easiest way to get around and is not expensive, but the costs do mount up. There are several low budget airlines. The terminals are out of town (obviously) so getting there can be an issue. A local bus will normally go from downtown for about $1.50 or you can get shuttles for in the region of $10-$20.

If you are with a group then hiring a car is probably the best method. You can go anywhere you want for $40 to $75 a day. The down side is you don't get to meet real Americans. Did I say down side? You know what I mean.

Walking, when walking in America try to stay to main roads and walk with a purpose.

I'm glad I did the tour this way round. It took me a while to get used to living in hostels and i think if I had started in Asia I would have floundered. This is not something that I ever expected to do.

Saturday 24th January 2004, Day 133/273 - Portland, Oregon.

Woke up feeling rather chipper, which surprised me when all things are considered.

I took a walk up to the Rose Garden in preparation for the Harlem Globetrotters tonight. I was really very excited about it which is a little sad. I was so excited in fact that I was right at the front of the queue when the doors opened at 17.00. Even before all the young kids. We were ushered in, I didn't know why, but it turned out I got to meet globetrotter Cedric Moody.


Bloo and Cedric Moody
I asked a guy to take my photo. He said 'Where you from?'

"England" came my reply.

"Oh, I went to England once when i was in the Navy." he said "I can't remember the name of the place."

"Plymouth"

"Yeah, that's it."

"How unfortunate."

Anyhow we all got to watch the University of Basketball before the doors opened properly at 18.00 for the start of the game at 19.00.

The Harlem Globetrotter's took on the New York Nationals as they do every night. It was well rehearsed and good fun as they took the mick out of the Nationals, the referees and the crowd. They've got some awesome skills and great names like 'Showtime', 'Boo', 'The Shark', and 'Showboat'. My favourite was Eugene 'Killer' Edgerson and when you see his picture you'll see why. It's great entertainment especially for the kids.


Eugene 'Killer' Edgerson
I had a really good seat for $17, but I did get ripped off for a T Shirt ($22) and programme ($5). I was happy for some reason. I guess it's because I've now done something else that I always wanted to do.



The Rose Garden
Commenting on Harold Shipmans death, Wakefield prison governor said he would be missed by the prison boxing because he had "a lethal jab!"

Friday 23rd January 2004, Day 132/273 - Portland, Oregon.

Took a walk up Vista Drive. I should have guessed from the name that it was a walk up a hill for a great view over the city. Well it would have been a great view had it not been raining so hard.

I totally missed Washington Park. Apparently it's a big green thing with a zoo, a Japanese garden and a rose garden in.  According to the map I'm standing right in the middle of it, but I can't see it. I'm sure it's lovely.

So I carried on into town, found a McDonald's and walked straight past. How brave!

I've really got to stop spending money, but they were bargains. I got an Eddie Bauer jumper for $20 and 2 pairs of Ralph Lauren boxers for $8, but you probably didn't want to know that.

I went to the cinema again. As there wasn't a lot of choice I watched 'Win a date with Tad Hamilton' which was terrible, but at least I was inside and drying. I was the only guy in the cinema.

It was still raining so I stayed in the cinema and watched 'Big fish'. From the trailers I thought it looked weird and probably wouldn't have been my choice, but it's been nominated for an award and everyone raves about Tim Burton movies. I'm glad I went to see it as it is an excellent film.

Came out of the cinema and was confronted with.

"Hi, I'm from Vienna and I'm staying in the temple and I want to teach you some things."

Bloo - "No, its okay thanks"

"but it's important."

Bloo - "To you"

Got back to the hostel and decided to go to the cinema with my new friend Maegan, from Chicago or Alaska or wherever she ends up. The Mission theatre is a little different from a normal cinema. Its a pub and restaurant that plays movies. For $3 you gain entry and can eat and drink whilst watching the movie. We saw Bad Santa which was so funny. Shame about the ending.

I'm disappointed in my lack of ability to drink anymore. I ended the evening on Jack and Coke and halfway through my last one I hit the wall. Maegan was telling a story about how she was false charged by a brown bear. Great story, but she knew that I'd had enough. I tried to look interested (as I genuinely was), but my eyes gave me away. She had to walk me back to hostel as I was incapable and my bed was calling. I slept like I was in a coma. A bear mauling me wouldn't have woken me.


You should have seen this woman trying to skate

Just a rather funky bridge

Thursday 22nd January 2004, Day 131/273 - Portland, Oregon.

I asked myself the question - How do you know when you've spent too much time in America?

Is it when you start saying eyeglasses instead of spectacles, or when you measure temperatures in fahrenheit rather than celsius?  When you say fries instead of chips and chips instead of crisps?  When you call taps, faucets and the laundrette a laundromat? When you have to specify regular coke instead of normal Coca Cola?  When you ask where the restrooms are, or say zucchini instead of courgette and egg plant instead of aubergine?  When you pronounce Aluminium - aloo-min-num, or when you look for a trash can to put your rubbish in?  When you find the ground floor on the 1st floor and the 1st floor on the 2nd floor?  When you say Happy Holidays rather than Merry Christmas?  When a light beer means low fat and not low alcohol, or when you fill you car with gas?  When you call a shop cashier a front end associate or when if you want to smoke a fag it means to shoot a gay man?  Is it when you get subjected to advertising campaigns like 'You may burp, others will want to smell it.' and you have to tip in bars before you buy a beer?  Is it when you have to go to a drive thru window to order a take away, or to get a prescription, or to get a drink from the off license and to take money from the bank?  When you can ride a motorbike with no helmet. or when you get huge measures in expensive bars?  When you feel compelled to stick a flag in your front garden and sing the national before playing a sport?  When you can't get decent spring water rr when the money all looks the same and you get a pocket full of change that the shops hate accepting? Why make it then? Is it when the biggest party of the year is Halloween or is when you still do mexican waves at sports events to make them more exciting?  Is it when you wait an hour for a bus and a day for a train?  Maybe it's when you write the date in wrong order or is it when you buy a huge car and really don't care about your mpg? At $1.40 a gallon who would?  Is it when you start asking for passers by for spare change or when you start liking baseball and other boring sports? When driving on the wrong side of the road/car feels normal or when you start giving directions in blocks (How big is a block?)? When you get used to having all the keys on the keyboard in the wrong place and having no pound sign?  When you get used to giant sized portions in McDonald's? I swear when I get back to England and order my first McDonald's, I'm going to stamp my feet and say "Why have I only got a thimble and not a bucket of coke?" and "Where's the extra half million chips that I won't eat?" and "Why don't you sell double cheeseburgers for a $?".  Is it when you get used to reading crap newspapers and walking in street named after numbers?  When you're never sure how much you're going to pay for an item because of all the different sales taxes in different states or when you turn on the TV to millions of channels of tat and spend hours flicking through terrible adverts by ambulance chasing lawyers, whilst waiting for the news to come on to tell how the fire department spend all day rescuing a cat from a tree and about a farmers price winning pumpkin, followed by how many Americans died in Iraq today and then going onto the weather?  They fail to tell you anything interesting let alone something that might be important. So then you turn on the Sports News and watch a 30 minute tape telling you who scored the best ally oop or monster jam or TD reception or interception or double play or biggest hit and how many points LeBron James scored in the Cleveland Cavaliers latest defeat. That tape is repeated until the next night of games.

I've been here nearly 4.5 months and I've thoroughly enjoyed it, but I'm so looking forward to getting to somewhere new. 1 week left till Hawaii.

Wednesday 21st January 2004, Day 130/273 - Portland, Oregon.

Woke up to a crisp day in Portland with the sun trying to burn through the early morning fog. I wish it would hurry up because I'm chuffing freezing.

The hostel is 19 blocks from the water front where I was headed. In most cities 19 blocks is an onerous task, but here it is a comparative delight. The blocks are much smaller than normal and are far better viewing.

I had to cross the river to get to the Rose Garden to pick up my tickets for Saturday. The city is separated by the Willamette River. The downtown area is on the westside (where I am staying), but there is still things to do on the east side although I don't think I'll get a chance to explore them.

Having collected my tickets I took the eastside riverwalk that gives you some great views of down town. My first impression of Portland wasn't great. As I pulled into the train station all you see are factory chimneys and ugliness. Don't let that put you off coming here. It's a nice place to be.

Portland is home of the biggest independent book store in America. It's huge. You get a free map to find your way round and you could easily spend all day here.

I haven't had a McDonald's yet, mainly because I can't find one.

Finished book 14. Bill Bryson - 'A Walk in the Woods'. I laughed my pants off as ever, but he always teaches you something. Today I learnt that in an average week an American walks just 1.4 miles. That includes walking from the car to the office and around the supermarket. Amazing.

Tuesday 20th January 2004, Day 129/273 - Seattle, Washington to Portland, Oregon.

Signed off a little early yesterday. As you may have been able to tell I had a little something to get off my chest. Before you all write in of course I know who MLK was and what a huge place he has in history. His autobiography is next on my reading list.

So first to finish my Monday. The hostel offers free food on Monday, Wednesday and Friday's. Monday night was Taco night and nothing gets a bunch of travellers going like free food. It was like the Duke of York's all over again. Remember in the junior school when your mess was called up everyone used to power walk to the serving hatch (you weren't allowed to run). It wasn't until senior school that we realised that it was always the same tat they served and there was plenty of it. My Dad always said that I went to school with good table manners and they taught me worse ones.

This was actually worse than that. It was like a pride of lions (who hadn't washed in years and had piercings everywhere) stalking an injured Gazelle. Then they devoured the tacos as if they were ripping the limbs off that Gazelle. I passed on the Taco's.

I got bored. Boredom is a big thing when travelling and unfortunately there is nothing cheap and safe to do in America. Needless to say that's when you spend money. I needed something light-hearted so I went to watch the new Ben Stiller and Jennifer Aniston movie 'Along came Polly'. The film was very funny, but not mindless for me.

Whenever I see a film where the wife cheats it gets my mind whirring and eats me up. As much as I enjoy travelling I still feel this massive pull towards conformity, you know, good job, nice house, nice car, wife and kids etc. I always felt to young for that, I know I was married, but I always saw those things ahead of me. Now I'm 28, jobless, carless, divorced and you wonder if it's going to happen or whether I want it to happen. It's lucky now that I have an attitude of c'est la vie. I feel like I wasted my younger days. They always said that your school days are your best days. They're not, but the years directly afterwards should be. I'm only now working out who I am and what I want. In short consider your options wisely.

Anyway Tuesday morning arrived and I got up early and walked to the train station to catch the 10 am train to Portland, Oregon for $23. I know I'm going back down the country, but I have a date with the Harlem Globetrotters on the 24th.

Sitting on the train in suddenly struck me that I still have a pain in my but tocks from snowboarding. Maybe I have done some serious damage or maybe I'm just sitting on my loose change.

Arrived in Portland at 14.00. Fast Huh. 4 hours to cover not even 200 miles. Walked to the HI at 1818 NW Gilsan which is reasonable and only charges $16 a night.

Portland seems like a nice compact little city. Everything's in walking distance. I took a walk up to the Nob Hill area which is a nice little district with bars and boutiques. Haven't really found a place like this in America. I stopped for a 'gourmet' pizza which seemed an interesting concept to me. How can 8 inch diameter of baked bread with stodge on top be described as 'gourmet'. I know, it's when they charge you $15 for it, but I have made a pact with myself. No more McDonald's or the like and I'm going to start running again (occasionally). I've also stopped drinking fizzy drinks (beers okay as are mixers). At home I would drink over a litre of coke a day. That can’t be good for you. Lets see how long I last. Mark this date in your diary.

Question of the day. Why do owners of the new VW Beetle have to put a flower on the dashboard. Are they all just a bit 'wacky' and 'out there'. Before you say anything, yes America does have Beetles. I think they buy them for there 10 year olds to learn to drive in.

Monday 19th January 2004, Day 128/273 - Seattle, Washington.

Agh I hate America. Today I was planning on going to the Boeing factory, but it's Martin Luther King Day so it's a public holiday. Agh, who was MLK and what did he ever do for anyone?

That's 4 days wasted in Seattle. Agh.

Sunday 18th January 2004, Day 127/273 - Seattle, Washington.

Took a walk up to the Space Needle. It looks like something out of War of the Worlds. The area that this is on is known as the Seattle Centre and is looking slightly dated now. I took the monorail back into town as I was getting wet.



Seattle has the tallest tower west of the Mississippi (I thought that's what the Stratosphere claimed) and it also had the tallest tower west of the Mississippi until the 1960's. It fascinating to see how quickly things have progressed. It's nice that people live, work, shop and go out around here. Like I said there's plenty here, but the locals want to keep it a secret.

I ended up in an Irish bar watching the American Football Championship games. Funny fact (I think) the Indianapolis Colts punter hasn't had to punt in the last 2 games. That's his job, that's what he gets paid $2m a year for and he hasn't had to do it. He's just stood on the sideline. Today the Colts were at last forced to punt and the punter would get a chance to earn his money until he gets a snap that sails over his head and into the endzone for a safety. Doh!

Watching all the adverts I'm so glad that I am leaving the States in 2 weeks. They really are mind numbing. The next reality TV show is 'My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiancée'. It's time to stop right now. I think the bottom of the barrel was scraped about 10 shows ago.

By the end of the day I was drinking car bombs. That's half a Guinness in a pint glass and a tumbler of baileys and whiskey. You drop the tumbler in the Guinness it explodes and you down it in one.

The food was really good, very expensive and very Irish. I enjoyed my Irish stew (still not as good as my mum's), shepherds pie and Carlsberg's, not sure my credit card did.

Saturday 17th January 2004, Day 126/273 - Seattle, Washington.

Feeling very rough. I really shouldn't drink anything other than Carlsberg or Fosters. No in fact I just shouldn't drink.

I did manage to finish book 13. Bill Bryson's - 'The Lost Continent'. I'm so glad that I wrote my thoughts on America before I read the book. He says exactly what I've been trying to say, but so much better. He absolutely cracks me up when he writes about the road system and his struggles to read maps. How they can miss important details like rivers and junctions, when in England our maps even detail churches. You must read his account of how the battle of Gettysburg panned out, no in fact just read his books now.

The last 3 taxi drivers that I've had have been from Somalia. They have been through some pretty trying times and have managed to escape to America. I'm sure it's a positive nirvana for them, but I would be moaning my luck. In my dorm there's a guy from Ethiopia. It turns out he's 17 and was brought to the US by a doctor who brought him up after his father died when he was 11. They settled in the Bronx and have had a falling out so Joseph did a bunk and is heading for Alaska to find a job in fishing. He spent yesterday in the strip club, spending $100 in the process. 'Man those girls really love you' he says. It's sad that this kid who has obviously been forced to become old before his time, but is so blatantly naïve in the process. I guess I always knew that people like Joseph existed in the world, indeed he's probably one of the luckier, but it is distressing to meet them and realise there isn't anything I can do for him. He's realistic to know that he needs an education if he is to succeed in America and has his faith that he believes will see him through. I hope he gets through it all okay.

Friday 16th January 2004, Day 125/273 - Seattle, Washington.

Began an adventure out to the Boeing factory. I could have taken an organised tour for $40 that would have picked me up from the hostel. I decided to take the public bus out there and save myself $31 in the process.

Having waited an hour at the bus stop I got bored, so decided to change plans and check the schedules and try again on Monday. For now I'm going to have a bagel and then go and do the stadium tour. I hadn't planned to do them, but I needed to kill some time. I'll spare you the details, but I will just tell you 2 things.

1. They have kept one end of Seahawks Stadium open, not because they are cheap, but so you can look out over the downtown skyline. I guess you'd do that when you get bored of the game.

2. The Sun Devils Stadium, the college stadium where I watched the Arizona Cardinals play, was where Superbowl XXX was played.

More facts about Seattle. It's the home of Microsoft, Boeing and amazon.com and has the same climate as England. It also has some pretty good micro breweries. Not exactly good, but better than the usual dross.

I found myself in the Pyramid Ale House and micro brewery. I sampled each of the 15 beers and ended up with a stupid smile on my face. The beers ranged from lagers to stouts, pale ales to dark ales. They were flavoured with things like orange or chocolate or coffee. After a while the taste didn't matter.

Seattle is the friendliest place that I've been. Probably just slightly friendlier than Phoenix.












The International Stupid Awards 2003

Some of these are from 2002, but they are so funny I think you'll enjoy reading them again!

And now, the runner-ups:
RUNNER-UP
The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company, suspecting negligence, sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine out and lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

RUNNER-UP
A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

RUNNER-UP
After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Beltway had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

RUNNER-UP
An American teenager was in the hospital yesterday recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

RUNNER-UP
A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which he clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer? $15. (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, was a crime committed?)

RUNNER-UP
A thief burst into a Florida bank one day wearing a ski mask and carrying a gun. Aiming his gun at the guard, the thief yelled, "FREEZE, Mother-Stickers--This is a F***-up! For a moment, everyone was silent. Then the snickers started. The guard completely lost it and doubled over laughing. It probably saved his life, because he'd been about to draw his gun. He couldn't have drawn and fired before the thief got him. The thief ran away and is still at large. In memory of the event, the banker later put a plaque on the wall engraved with the words, "Freeze, mother-stickers, this is a ****-up!"

RUNNER-UP
Seems this Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. Seems the liquor store window was made of Plexiglas and the whole event was caught on videotape.

RUNNER-UP
As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

RUNNER-UP
The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

RUNNER-UP
In Kentucky two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off their truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove home. With the chain still attached to the machine. With their bumper still attached to the chain. With their vehicle's license plate still attached to the bumper. They were quickly arrested.

A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER!
When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

Now THIS YEAR'S RUNNER-UP.
When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder: He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

Thursday 15th January 2004, Day 124/273 - Seattle, Washington.

Today is orientation day in Seattle. Whenever you first arrive in a city the plan is to find the tourist information office, get a map and find out what there is to do over a beer and a bagel. I can't say that I'm totally enamoured with the whole US breakfast thing, but I do quite enjoy a toasted bagel and cream cheese. Not quite at the 12 pancakes covered in goo stage.

On first impressions Seattle has a big downtown area that is well used and very varied. It kind of reminds me of a darker San Francisco. There appears to be something for everyone and Seattle has definitely just happened as opposed to being planned and structured. There is a big live music scene and it's the sort of place with comic book stores and little antique shops. There's a wharf, much like the one in San Francisco and a vibrant fish market. In short Seattle has things that are sadly lacking in many US cities. It has things that attract people into the town centre. It's not clean, but it's not dirty, it's just well used.

It's probably not convenient for most Americans. You've got to get out of your car to visit the bank, the chemist, the off license and the take away. The lack of structure in the layout doesn't stop you from finding anything. As an example of the random nature of Seattle you come out of the hostel and you pass in this order :- convenience store, STD clinic, wig shop, nail parlour, teriyaki shop, wig shop, peep show, pawn shop, grocery, trainer shop, sandwich shop, coffee shop, bank and then strip club with huge neon sign out front. I didn't get any further. No idea why they need 2 wig shops on this block.

The hostel is nice enough. $22 a night with free internet and breakfast. I didn't expect there to be quite this many travellers here. It's very popular. As ever with American hostels there are lots of Americans, just kind of bumming around.

A sample of things that happened today so that you know your advertising campaign is working.

1st conversation with a sale assistant.

Assistant - 'So where you from?'
Bloo - 'England'
Assistant - 'That's cool. So what do you think of David Beckham moving to Barcelona?'

2nd conversation with Japanese guy in dorm.

Jap - 'So where you from?'
Bloo - 'England'
Jap - 'Ingrand?'
Bloo - 'No, En- ger-land'
Jap - 'ah, Breckham'
Bloo - 'Yes, Beckham'

3rd is an excerpt from the Seahawks Stadium Brochure. The 3rd reason why you should tour the stadium was :-

'In July 2002 we held a friendly between Celtic and Manchester United. Yes that's David Beckham et al.'

Depressing huh! So I'm going to tell you a joke.

An elderly Irishman lay dying in his bed.

While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favourite chocolate chip cookies wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed.

Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort, gripping the railing with both hands, he crawled downstairs. With laboured breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen.

Were it not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven, for there, spread out upon waxed paper on the kitchen table were literally hundreds of his favourite chocolate chip cookies. Was it heaven?

Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted Irish wife of sixty years, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?

Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself toward the table, landing on his knees in a rumpled posture. His parched lips parted, the wondrous taste of the cookie was already in his mouth, seemingly bringing him back to life.

The aged and withered hand trembled on its way to a cookie at the edge of the table, when it was suddenly smacked with a spatula by his wife......

"#*$& off" she said, "they're for the funeral."

Wednesday 14th January 2004, Day 123/273 - Placerville, California to Seattle, Washington.

Awoke in the snowy mountains of I have no idea where. The train scything a path through the red rocks making very slow progress. On the plateau's you get the feel for just how much vast emptiness there is in the US. The farmland tools look pretty basic. No modern machinery here. When you pass through a small community you get the impression that a lot of americans, outside of the cities, live very simple existences

Found out that I'm in Oregon. Stopped at Kabath Falls and a few other places. The stations are just sidings and there is mainly only one track.

The train has everything you could want. A dining car, a café, sleepers, kiddie section and sightseer lounge.

There's is no doubt that America has some of the most stunning and picturesque scenery in the world. Certainly from what I've seen of it. It's just a shame that they ever started building here. The southern part of Oregon has got away unscathed, but as you get up to Albany and Portland, the sprawl begins.

I have a theory on the weirdo's and characters that you see on the trains and buses around America. I think they are employed by the operators to provide entertainment for it's passengers. Todays character is a bloke who obviously thinks very highly of himself and spent all his time chatting up the girls. I saw him hand his phone number out to at least 5. I don't know how you'd handle more than 1 woman. Very delicately I would have thought.


Apparently this bridge is very important. I have no idea why.
We kind of dawdled into Washington state and eventually arrived in Seattle at 21.00. The trains are painfully slow over here. We complain about trains back home, but it's nothing compared to here. Seattle station is smaller than Aldershot's. There are no Waterloo's, or Victoria's, or Charing Cross's, or King's Cross's etc. Over here. I walked up to the Green Tortoise hostel @ 1525 2nd Avenue.

I've now been just about as far North, South, East and West as you can go in America. Even been right to the centre. Since leaving Heathrow I've travelled 17,277 miles. 8,936 on Greyhound, 604 miles by car, 6,898 by plane and 839 by train. I feel like the late great John Candy in 'Planes, Trains and automobiles' although not even he could manage the greyhound.

Tuesday 13th January 2004, Day 122/273 - Placerville, California.

Got another lift into Sacramento with Tim. Still feeling the pain from the snowboarding. I just had a wander around this nice little city with all the typical characteristics of an American city; gridded streets, plenty of homeless, plenty of jobless, domed state capitol building. Yardee yar. I say characteristics, but that's probably the wrong word as that suggests that Sacramento has character. Pleasant though it is, it lacks character. The lack of character is a characteristic of most American cities. It does have oranges growing on trees in the memorial gardens which would make for cheap lunches, if it wasn't for the hundreds of pesky squirrels.






Found a great website to use with my new toy. Www.freewifispot.com lets you know where all the free wifi hotspots are in town.  I went to a nice little coffee shop (not a starbucks) and entrenched myself for the afternoon.

Tim kindly came and met me at the end of the light rail to have dinner and help break up my day. We found an indian (yes indian) and had a curry, followed by a few beers and a final chat. My thanks must go to Tim and his family. As ever I'm blown away by their hospitality and I hope they can make it over to England soon (but not before I get there).

Tim dropped me at the Amtrak station where I had my now usual moments contemplation and adjustment to being on my own again. It's no problem, but it always happens.

Sacramento (a city) train station is about the same size as Aldershot (a small town) train station. It has a terrible lack of signs and is devoid of information. From what I could work out it only sees about 10 trains a day. I was anxious not to miss the only train of the day so I left the terminal building at about 23.55 to get to the platform to wait for my midnight train. Having waited a chilly 30 minutes I say a guy in a uniform strolling down the platform.

Bloo - "Excuse me, Do you know where the Seattle train is?"
Bod - "Yeah, it's running over an hour late.'
Bloo - "Don't you think that's the sort of information you should share with your customers."

No wonder no one takes the train.

When the train did arrive, it was magnificent (as trains go) and huge. It's a double decker and there was copious amounts of leg room and chairs that recline to almost lying down. I quickly went off to snoozeville.

Monday 12th January 2004, Day 121/273 - Placerville, California.

Another early start as I got a lift to Sacramento with Tim on his way to work. He dropped me off at the park and ride and I caught the light rail into the State Capitol ($1.50), the home of Arnie or the Governator as he is known in these parts.

My 1st job was to arrange the next leg of my trip to Seattle. I hadn't been on the train yet and the station was nice and central so I went and enquired about that. $69 coach class, one way, for the 800 odd mile trip, which I would consider a bit of a bargain. There is only one train a day and that departs at midnight and takes 18 hours.

That booked I took a walk down to old town Sacramento. It was like walking into an old wild west town. It was only about 8 blocks worth but they had the original buildings from the gold rush in the mid to late 1800's. It was like walking through a timewarp, apart from the noise from the freeway that separates old Sacramento from new Sacramento.

No shops or museums open until 10.00 in America. It seems like a much nicer and more humane way to live.

I ended up in the California State Railroad Museum for no other reason than I was cold and had 7 hours to kill. It's not because I'm a spotter. I'm not into trains, but this is a good museum. It was very informative and all for $4. Again there were numerous staff on hand, who for them it was a hobby rather than a job.  They enthused about the role that a certain carriage played in the history of America. The railroad played a vital role in the construction of America and was important to the economy.  It was through the railroad that trading between the states really took off. It's a shame they haven't felt the need to keep the infrastructure up to date. The railroad is really not a great way to travel around America anymore. For Americans it is now a novelty to travel by train.

I went for a burger in Johnny Rockets. I thought I'd better try one before I leave America as they claim to be the original hamburger joint. It was a diner style restaurant, but the burger was stodgy, greasy and horrible. Not a huge burger fan and I've had better at football match's. It should have been called 'Johnny Rottens'.  You can find them all over the US.

Made my way back to the park and ride where I met Tim.

News of the day. You may remember that I told you the story of the 13 year old amateur surf champion who had here arm bitten off by a shark in Hawaii. Well she entered her first competition since the attack ................................................. and placed 5th.

Sunday 11th January 2004, Day 120/273 - Placerville, California.

Ouch pain. Need a cushion to sit on.

Stayed in in the morning and watched the NFL play Offs while the S-L's went off to Church. Everytime I moved i found a new area that hurt.

In the afternoon I had recovered enough to go out with Tim to return the snowboard gear. As we were in Folsom we went to the old powerhouse (there's nothing much else to do) whose extravagant claim to fame was that it was the first place in the world to deliver high voltage electricity, even if it was only for a few months in 1895, before the record was again broken. It seems that everywhere is trying to be something and has to make these claims to qualify it as important, in the eyes of Americans. Ironically the powerhouse, which stopped being used in the 1950's, currently had a power cut. Nevertheless the guide was obviously an enthusiast and his excitement for this place in turn rubs off on you. He was especially delighted to see me as I was from out of town.



Came back via the Gold Bug mine in Placerville. It was closed, but gold is basically the reason why Placerville, and for that matter most of California, exists. We had a tour of the town, which was small, and had I been an American in a nice little English town, I would have said it was quaint. It's another little gem that the guide books don't tell you about.

Saturday 10th January 2004, Day 119/273 - Placerville, California.

Early rise for a 7am drive to North Lake Tahoe to get to the Donner Pass ski resort. A days lift pass cost us a bargain at $20 and i was off snowboarding for my first time. I've skied twice. Once in 1987 with school, in Switzerland and the other time to Austria about 5 years ago. It's fair to say that I'm no expert when it comes to alpine pursuits.

The idea of strapping a board to your legs and throwing yourself down a mountain never did strike me as sensible, especially when the only way of stopping is to fall over. After a while this gets very painful, but I was soon able to balance and was in control enough to more or less stop at very slow speeds. At this point the confidence grew and I got cocky and tried some things that I really shouldn't have. Having fallen over in splendid fashion and winding myself on numerous occasions my pride and confidence was ever so slightly dented, so i retired for lunch and re-evaluated my predicament. I toyed with the idea of sacking the snowboard and hiring skis for the afternoon (if nothing else to prove that i could stay upright), but I decided that I would not be beaten by a piece of wood and persevered with the board for the afternoon and won (almost).

By the end of the day, I'd been off the top of the mountain, had just about sorted out my heal edge, had a go at my toe edge and worked out that I was regular as opposed to goofy (I think). Now I'm not saying that i'm an expert, but I had learnt to only fall in soft places.

Snowboarding is much more unforgiving than skiing. If you catch an edge you have no way of staying up. Once down it takes an incredible amount of effort to flip the board round the right way and try to get yourself standing again. There are no poles to lean on. The whole process of snowboarding feels totally unnatural and I've got so many sore bits. Wrists, elbows, shoulders, neck, knees, feet, stomach, basically everywhere. I've no idea how beginners can get up tomorrow and do it again.

Having said all that I had so much fun doing it (or trying to) and I'll definitely do it again. At this moment I prefer skiing, but that's only because I know I can do that.

The facilities were far better than I've experienced in Europe and this was a cheap resort. There were no problems with snow. There was about 12 foot of snow on the ground and it was mainly soft (fortunately).

Friday 9th January 2004, Day 118/273 - Salt Lake City, Utah to Placerville, California.

Would have liked to have spent more time in Salt Lake City, but I had really exhausted the sites downtown and to venture to the Olympic ski parks and the Great Salt Lake (which by the way is sometimes as much as 27% salt, 2nd only to the Dead Sea and you can float on) would have required a car (as ever). Another reason to leave is that snowboarding with Tim is calling. So I woke at 7 to take a walk to the temple to catch the local bus out to the airport and save myself some money to boot.

7.00 in the morning in Salt Lake sees many scurrying people, suited and booted heading off to work. Strangely the biggest office block in Salt Lake is the Mormon offices. It's kind of funny to see all these businessmen heading off to work for a church.

Having got to the airport and checked in, I was subjected to the screening process. This is the 3rd time I've flown in 11 days and the 3rd time I've had the extra special treatment. Now even I am beginning to wander if I am a terrorist. If I was my cause would be the promotion of Fleet Town Football Club's search for a long term sponsor and to stave of relegation for another season. A noble and just cause if you ask me. Anyway enough of that. In the 11 days I'll have been on 5 different flights and used 3 different carriers.






I caught the 11.05 to Las Vegas on Southwest airlines. South West is like the Greyhound of the sky. There are no seat allocation so, as ever, I always get sat next to a loon instead of someone pretty, or failing that interesting or failing that someone who smells nice. The pilot sounds like a right cowboy and the flight attendants are all in casual gear (chinos and polo shirts).

As we departed Salt Lake you get an awesome view across the Rockies. You certainly wouldn't see that on the Greyhound. As time passes the snowy mountains fade into the red canyon country as you near Vegas.

Landing in Vegas we gained an hour again (so now I'm 8 hours behind you). I relented from playing the slot machines in the terminal before we took off again at 12.30. These are the 2 prettiest flights I've been on, I mean in terms of scenery. On this flight you get a cracking view of Vegas and then a gorgeous peak at Lake Tahoe.

We landed 13.50 in Sacramento and back in California. I had to wait for Tim to pick me up after work in his big white truck.  He really has taken to this American lifestyle. I don't actually remember him from school although I do recall the name. He was 3 years above me and yet again I am blown away by people's (who don't know me from Adam) willingness to go out of their way and look after me for a few days. We drove back via Folsom to pick up some snowboarding rental gear ($25) and then drove to his house in Placerville where I met his wife Rachelle and 2 kids Ethan and Jamin. Placerville is about an hour east of Sacramento and you can see why they chose to live here, in the countryside, on his 5.5 acres of land.

Thursday 8th January 2004, Day 117/273 - Salt Lake City, Utah.

Happy Birthday Pam!

When I checked in the receptionist asked me if I wanted a cold or a hot room. I opted for cold as I prefer to be too cold as opposed to too hot. What the receptionist meant was would you like arctic or sauna. My god it's cold. It was so cold that I had to christen my sleeping bag. Dukie's will appreciate how cold. Remember having to wake up and you just knew how cold that wood floor was going to be, but you knew you had to step on it and when you did it took your breathe away. Well it was colder than that. The good thing was I had the dorm to myself. I guess I'm the only mad one.

I did the tourist thing of wandering around the sites taking photos of all of Salt Lakes nice buildings. Basically all the ones of interest are to do with Mormons, Brigham Young, Joseph Smith or the Olympics. I made a move into Temple Square where the Mormons are happy to show you around the Tabernacle etc., but I'm afraid to say I bottled it and stayed in the relative security of the sidewalk. As soon as you pass through the gates, it's as if you're honey and they're bees. They come at you from all angles. I got some snaps from the outside, but they've all got a 10 foot wall in front of them. You can't help but be impressed by the buildings. The people frighten me, but that's due to a lack of knowledge on my part.

Finished book 12. It was only wickle. 'Lance Armstrong - A Biography' by Bill Gutman. Short and to the point. A real American hero, no in fact just a big bloody hero. If you don't know Lance's story shame on you.

Wednesday 7th January 2004, Day 116/273 - Salt Lake City, Utah.

Last night I had a call from a Dukie who lives near Sacramento, California. Tim S-L (M 90) very kindly asked me to come stay with him and his family where we'll hopefully get to do some snowboarding. So today I've got to try and make arrangements to get there for the weekend.

I went out to explore in a snow covered Salt Lake City. I expected a very sterile and frigid place, with mormons everywhere trying to convert me and get me to marry each of their 12 daughters. What I got was a city that is very much the same as every other american city, but much cleaner and far quieter. There also appear to be plenty of places selling alcohol, but there are obvious religious overtones everywhere. I'm not sure you'd realise the religious connertations unless you'd heard what people say about Utah. I don't think that any place in the US has been as I expected, whether better or worse and that's another reason that I'm glad I've come.


As close as I got to the Mormon Tabernacle




The height of laziness
The city has basically been built up since the 2002 Winter Olympic games and unlike Atlanta you can see the benefit that it brought to the city. It has new buildings everywhere including the funkiest library ever. You can catch free public transport around downtown, but really you should walk as it's all so close. Having said that I'm glad for my new waterproof boots. The main roads are clear, but the paths aren't. I'm spending most of my time knee deep in snow and that's the shallow bit. If I trod on some paths you wouldn't see me till spring.




Took a bus out to the student area of town. Always a sure fire way to find a STA Travel, so I booked my flight to Sacramento and arranged to fly to Maui straight after I arrive in Honolulu, Hawaii on the 31st January. I then walked the 21 blocks north and 11 blocks west back to downtown. How do I know this? Well Salt Lake numbers its streets as to how many blocks they are away from the Mormon Temple.

Dinner. I've discovered a new cheap way to eat. Chinese take aways. You get a main dish, fried rice and wontons for $5.80. Good huh. You even get a fortune cookie.

'Focus on the journey, not the destination.' I think even I get that one.

Tuesday 6th January 2004, Day 115/273 - Denver, Colorado to Salt Lake City, Utah.

AGH Dehydration. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to finish the Vodka. I'm so glad that we didn't manage to find any beer last night.

We drove out through downtown so Steve and Ben could do some final bits of shopping and then via IHOP to the Airport, where we dropped of the rental car. It's a real slick operation. You just drive through the gates, pull up, a man scans the barcode on the side of the car and then hands you a receipt. I don't even feel like I've spent $40. From there you just walk straight on to a bus that takes you to the airport terminal.

Checked on to my Delta flight and went through security who gave me another thorough going over. The screening almost made me late to say bye to Ben and Steve, who are flying to Chicago, before catching the big plane home. They managed to catch an earlier plane to ensure they didn't miss their connection. They didn't enjoy America enough to want to spent extras day here. It was bloody good having them out here. It meant I had 6 hours to wait for my flight and I was back to travelling alone.

Managed to depart from Denver on time. I'm going to miss Denver and it's 300 plus days of sunshine, the fresh air and of course it's 7 pro sports teams.

Feel quite alone for a while, but then I realised that after a brief break in my adventures it's onto stop number 29 in the grand tour. Arrived in Salt Lake City at about 20.00 to loads of snow on the ground, so caught a taxi to the HI at 107 F Street.  It's back to hostel live for me.

Finished book 11 'The Hobbit' by JRR Tolkein. Preferred reading the book to watching the films. You've got to admire the way he writes. I’m beginning to sound like a book critic. As if anyone values my opinion.

Monday 5th January 2004, Day 114/273 - Denver, Colorado.

#*+& me it's cold. It's -20 c outside. I've never known anything this cold, except for when I worked in the freezers at Marks and Spencers. It's so cold that it makes your nose hairs freeze instantly.

We started to walk to the car hire place, but quickly sacked that idea and took the shuttle up there instead. We rented a Pontiac Vibe, which is a funky little car, but totally underpowered.

I'm getting used to this foreign driving malarkey and even managed to negotiate some traffic circles on our way to the Coors Brewery in Golden, Colorado. They offer a free tour that's pretty interesting, but as ever they made plenty of claims that we have no way of proving. The only one I do believe is that 70% of their product sales are Coors Light. Unfortunately we weren't able to take full advantage of the free samples as I'm the only one old enough to drink, but I'm also the only one able to drive.


Hmmmm Beer!

Conversation of the day with tour guide having realised we're from England.

Guide - "Have you been to our brewery in London?"
Bloo - "No, whereabouts in London?"
Guide - "Burton on Trent"

Drove out on the I70 into the Rockie Mountains and the ski resorts. We managed to get as far as Breckenridge until the roads got too icy and dangerous. The scenery was as beautiful as expected.




Road trip to the Mountains
Took the boys back via Hooters (for an eyeful), before heading back to the hotel where we packed and then finished the vodka. We had a laugh and watched American Wedding. Having finished the vodka we headed out in the search of more alcohol. I think luckily we were unable to find any, as the 7-11 stops selling alcohol at midnight.


Bloo getting lucky

Sunday 4th January 2004, Day 113/273 - Denver, Colorado.

Went to the US Mint today. The Denver mint is 1 of 4 in the US and produces 50 million coins a day. Yes 50 million. That's incredible. Our visit was totally wasted as the mint is still closed for the holiday break and even if it wasn't it's not open to foreign visitors, despite being heavily advertised in the tourist literature.

So we went to a bar to watch the Denver Broncos in the NFL Wild Card Play off. That was also a waste of time as they were whipped 10-41 by the Indianapolis Colts. The fans are annoying as they have nothing to say, but say it really loud anyway.

So it was then back to the Pepsi Centre this time to watch the Colorado Avalanche v Minnesota Wild in ice hockey. Our tickets cost $44 for the upper ring and although we were in the same section we had separate seats.  This was the Avalanche's 412th consecutive sell out.



The game was a bit of an anticlimax as the 2 sides made the game very scrappy. There was no crowd noise unless it was instigated by the PA. The final score was 3-1 to the Avalanche.

Fact of the Day. 10% of the worlds mined salt is used to de ice roads in the US each year. Unbelievable!